Want to fix your bad relationships? Who's angry? Is it you? Your husband? Your wife? Your kids? A co-worker? Who's fault is it? Are you caught in the "blame game?" Do you think the problem is all the other person's fault?
If so, you're not alone. Blaming others is natural when you're hurt, afraid and angry. Problem is, it just doesn't work, and only leads to more bad relationships!
Okay, you might be thinking...that's all well and good, but who's fault is it, anyway? I get it. It's human nature to want to know who's at fault.
But the question is, not who's to blame, the question is all about who is responsible. With responsibility comes the freedom to change.
Is it 50-50 responsibility? Not quite. Here's how it works:
Whoever you're having trouble with, be ready to take responsibility for your part. You can't fix anybody else, and you will only get more angry if you try! When you take responsibility you also get freedom--freedom to change yourself and your bad relationships into good ones.
By the way--do you have a bad relationship story or question? Tell us about it!
If you are now or have been a victim of physical, sexual or emotional abuse, then you are in an abusive relationship. This is also true if you are a victim of verbal abuse. You need to take action now to insure your own safety, and the safety of your children if you have any.
How to deal with anger in marriage or bad relationships:
How to deal with teens and childrens' anger:
Body language, counseling and anger in the workplace:
Conflict resolution skills are a must in dealing with bad relationships and relationship problems of all kinds. Give them a try with your spouse, partner, friend or co-worker, and see how well it works in parenting teenagers.
One of the main causes for anger in bad relationships is the inability to overcome jealousy. You don't have to be a victim to the "green-eyed monster." Overcoming jealousy and dealing with the silent treatment is simply a matter of learning to love yourself.
Remember, this relationship advice is a tool, and the more you use it the more success you will have--the more you will turn your bad relationships into good ones!
The Speaker--this is the first person to speak, which is usually the one with "the issue."
The Responder--this is the other person in the dialogue.
Guidelines for the Speaker
Guidelines for the Responder
You might want to practice these skills with a friend or an anger management relationship counselor to hone your skills and "work out the kinks" before trying it with the person you're in conflict with.
The main thing to remember is that you can do this! You have the good heart and integrity to turn all of your relationship problems into opportunities for growth and self improvement.
If your bad relationships are so bad they have to end, you might want to get some good divorce advice about letting go of a relationship.
A big part of anger management in marriage is simply dealing with stress in an effective way. Learn more with these relationship quotes.
Sometimes, women need specific guidance during the end of a marriage. If this is your situation, you will find some excellent guidance at WomansDivorce.com.
Assertiveness Training--Learn how to be powerful in your relationships without being aggressive. Assertiveness is the most powerful and effective when you increase your emotional intelligence and develop healthy anger.
Verbal Abuse--Learn to understand and deal with this powerful and subtle form of abuse, that is far more common than you may think, especially in bad relationships. You deserve respect, and so do those around you.
Jealousy Quotes--This collection of quotes by Dr. DeFoore will tell you what it's like to be in the grips of jealousy, what jealousy really means, and how to get free of the feelings of jealousy.
The Angry Woman--Whether it's you or someone close to you, it is important to understand the unique type of anger that a woman experiences. Playing the role of mother, wife and other female roles can be very stressful.
Depression Hurts--Understand the pain of depression and how it can hurt you and those you love. You do not have to be a victim of depression, and you will find some excellent guidance for healing here.
Whether it's shocking, funny or infuriating, we'd like to hear your stories and questions about anger management.
You have questions or stories to tell, or you wouldn't be on this site. If you'd like some help, you can get help here. You may feel helped just by writing!
Also, other visitors might be able to help with their comments, stories and questions. Sometimes I (Dr. DeFoore here) offer comments, and I try to answer most of the questions.
Feel free to also review our FAQ page (frequently asked questions), to see if your question has already been answered.
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
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Read the latest edition of the Healing Anger Newsletter, and learn about the problem and solution to the sense of ownership that naturally occurs in relationships.