Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Bullying has different effects on different people, depending on who you are and where you stand in relationship to the bully. You're interested in bullying for your own personal reasons, and you'll find exactly what you're looking for right here.
So, click on one of the five questions below to get the answers you're looking for. Just select the question that you want answered, and it will take you to your answers right here on this page.
You might be totally sure your child is a victim, but some kids have a hard time talking about this kind of thing. Just in case, here are some signs that your child might be a victim of bullies:
Of course if your child comes right out and tells you about getting picked on at their school or in your neighborhood, then you know for sure. Just be sure you believe them!
Here are some questions to ask your child, if you're not sure:
This is the time to stand up for your child, but how and when you do it makes all of the difference. This video shows some adults handling things very well...
Teach your child to use these skills in actual bullying situations by role playing what happens when they are being bullied. Be playful and have fun with this. If it gets too serious, you will lose your child's interest. You might want to get your other children involved, or some of your child's friends, and have fun with it!
The most important thing for you to remember as a parent of a child who is being bullied is that you can't solve this problem by yourself, and your child needs to know they are not alone either.
No one has to be powerless in the face of a bully. I hope that the knowledge, tools and tips offered here help you to take a stand against bullying in your community.
Think of it as a team approach, including you, hopefully your spouse, your child and a teacher, counselor official from your child's school. Read this Kidshealth.org article for more information and learn more about how to help kids develop empathy here.
Good for you for taking this action! A lot of time parents of bullies are guilty of neglecting their children, or worse, encouraging their bullying. That's not you! You don't want your child to be a bully--you know it's bad for your child as well as those they are picking on.
In his book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman found in his research that bullies don't have empathy for their victims. The good news is that when they learn empathy--that is when they learn to accurately read the emotions of other children, they no longer pick on them.
He and his researchers found that children who bully usually think other children don't like them, and they are secretly afraid and hurt. Learning good social skills can be key to stopping the problem of bullying.
Here are some actions you can take to help your child stop bullying:
Above all, be sure to communicate to your child that they are not bad! It is their behavior that is the problem, and there is a solution. Bullies are not happy kids, and you have what it takes to help! Teach your child that s/he can be their own best anger management resource.
You deserve a medal! Not only are you a professional who has dedicated your life's work to educating our children, you are interested enough in them to help with the bullying problem. Fortunately, there are many wonderful resources to help you in dealing with the problem of aggression, violence and victimization in your school.
By the way, it will also be helpful for you to read this information on preventing school violence as a part of your effort.
As a concerned professional, you will do well to focus on these considerations:
And in conclusion, remember that you are a hero, a champion, and a role model to our citizens of tomorrow--perhaps moreso than you have ever dreamed!
We need you!
You may not feel like it, but you are strong and smart! How do I know that? Because you are strong and smart enough to be right here reading this and taking action to solve your problem!
You are not alone.
There are millions of other kids just like you, who want to feel safe at school or in their neighborhoods. All you have to do is reach out, and the help is there! I'm going to give you some great links to follow to get help, but first I want you to know these things about yourself:
There are many wonderful resources to help you with this problem. Start with Stomp Out Bullying, where you will find a "help chat line" where you can get help for your specific problem.
Remember, you are not alone, and you are powerful!
What you're doing right now takes a lot of guts! You've got the courage and good sense to take responsibility for your own actions and try to stop your bullying behavior. Good for you!
But this is just the beginning. Here is what you need to do:
Thanks for taking this time to help yourself! When you help you, you're helping everybody you know. Keep looking and learning!
Do you have an interesting story about bullying? Share it! Whether it's a problem you want help with, or just a great story you'd like to share, we want to hear it.
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
I Think I Was Mean To Someone And I Don't Know What To Do
There is a kid in my class who tends to act very stupid just to try to get the "cool" kids to like him. He is smart, we are in all the honors classes …
My 11 Year Old Daughter Has Been Threatened At School
My 11 year daughter had a very concerning incident at school on Friday. My daughter is an outgoing, smart, beautiful young lady full of life. The first …
My Daughter Is Being Threatened
My daughter "Jane" is 12 years old and is in the seventh grade. Another female student "Doe", who just transferred to the public school, is making threats …
Standing Up Will Make A Difference
When I was a little child, I experienced some painful memories of a bully who made me scared to ride the school bus. One day after school, I sat at the …
I Am Stuck And I Want To Stop Hitting Things Not rated yet
I have been bullied since I was in Primary School (Elementary for that matter), all the way till I was past Secondary School (High School). I only ever …
How Can Our Middle School Incorporate The Teaching Of Empathy? Not rated yet
Our middle school just inherited a group of kids from the elementary school who are particularly cruel to each other. The middle school administrator …
Target Of The Bully Not rated yet
It seems that I continually land in the way of the bully. I don't see that I intentionally choose bullies to hang around. But intelligent, confident, …
Who Is The Real Bully? Not rated yet
My son is in grade 7 studying in a very good school. He is labelled as rude, abusive, disobedient, violent and a student with low intellectual ability. …
A Plea From A Sister Not rated yet
I have a brother who is currently thirteen years old this year. My cousin, who is six years old, is currently staying at our house as his father recently …
The Bully On The Bus Not rated yet
This is actually a problem in my life right now. And I need your help. There is a girl on my bus. She is a year younger than me. She is popular. I sit …
Uncontrolled Anger Not rated yet
I had a very bad experience when I was 12 years old. It was the first time I had ever felt that angry. I felt like I wanted to destroy everything that …
I Was An Accidental Bully Not rated yet
The statement sounds a bit odd, but in my case it was true. I was a big kid compared to others my same age, heck even compared to some adults. I was …
Just Ignore it Not rated yet
I've usually been able to fly under the radar and avoid being bullied, but the one time I remember was freshman year in high school. There was this kid …
Don't Let The Bully Get The Best Of You Not rated yet
It was a long long time ago when I was a child about 11 years old and there was this kid named John and he was the school bully. He was always harassing …
My Son Was The Victim of Bullying Not rated yet
My son, who is 22 years old now, was bullied quite a lot when he was in grade and middle schools. He was overweight and bullies teased him mercilessly. …