No matter how bad things are, you've got what it takes to make it better. You are smarter, stronger and healthier than you realize. Believe in yourself, and never, ever give up on you!
Whether you are victim, abuser or both, the problems go south real fast when somebody gives up. You just can't afford to do that.
Relationships are supposed to feel good and make your life better. Don't settle for anything less than that. You are worthy of loving relationships, even if you're the one who's been causing the problems.
You are worthwhile, valuable and good, no matter how you're feeling right now. And that's the key to beginning the process of breaking free from abusive relationships.
One option is to get out of the relationship. The other is to stay and try to work things out. But first, we have to figure out which is the best option!
Here are some things to consider in making your decision:
These are "worse case scenarios," and if you answered "yes" to any or all of the above, you need to find a safe place to go immediately. If you end up getting a divorce, you will need some divorce advice on letting go of a relationship.
There is also emotional or mental abuse. This type of abuse, although it may not seem as extreme as the above, can be just as devastating. Here are some questions to help you decide if you're being emotionally abused:
This type of situation can make start to doubt yourself, and actually interfere with your decision making ability. This can start a downward spiral that just keeps going until you feel that you are not competent to take care of yourself.
Then, if you are actually being abused, you become more and more dependent on the abuser. Not a good thing.
In order to survive abusive relationships, you must educate yourself. Understanding abusive relationships is a first step, and it will also help you to learn to respect yourself and develop healthy anger.
Healthy anger is based on self-love, and it does not harm anyone. Healthy anger is for the purpose of protecting you and keeping you safe.
Healthy anger fuels effective action!
Here are some thoughts for you to consider:
If you know you're in an abusive relationship, but you're afraid to do anything, here is the help you need:
Never, ever give up on yourself! It is never hopeless, no matter how bad it may seem. You have the courage and the good heart to do what must be done to keep yourself and your children safe, and it all starts with self love.
Return to Anger Management Programs.
Here's your chance to ask Dr. DeFoore about your situation. It can be about your anger, somebody else's anger, or about grief, road rage, anxiety or depression. Tell your story with as much detail as possible, and he will give you some free counseling.
Feel free to also review our FAQ page (frequently asked questions), to see if your question has already been answered.
Then, if selected, the results will be a web page on this site that will help others! So, there you go--help and be helped! By the way, you can be anonymous if you choose, but if you include your first name, it's better.
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
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I have lived in an abusive marriage for 11 years. The abuse was both physical and verbal. I have 3 children aged 10, 8 and 3 years and yes they have seen …
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Dr. DeFoore, I just read your paper “The Power of Intimacy: Overcoming Barriers to Deep and Lasting Closeness.” I thank you for writing it as after …
Mar 04, 15 01:12 PM
Learn about an ADD treatment that gets to the cause of the problem and requires no medication. Now it is possible to treat ADD with a variety of natural, do-it-yourself methods that improve your focus…
Mar 03, 15 07:41 AM
Great funny video that tells the truth about blame, and what it does to you. Choose accountability, and watch things start to get better.
Mar 02, 15 01:19 PM
Learn about abusive relationships and the steps you can take to stop the abuse. Act now before it gets worse, so that you can have lasting, healthy, loving relationships.