How To Deal With
Abusive Relationships
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You'll find lots of free information and support right here, including books, CDs or counseling programs if you want. Now let's get right to it...
Know what? You are smarter, stronger and healthier than you realize. Believe in yourself, and never, ever give up on you!
- You are a good person, and you deserve to be treated with respect--no matter what. This doesn't mean you're perfect, it just means you are human, and worthy of respect.
- Regardless of who you are or what you've done, I have some relationship advice for you--you do not deserve to be abused.
- You must be willing to take responsibility. That's where your freedom comes from.
It doesn't mean you're responsible for the abusive relationship, it just means you are responsible for taking action to protect yourself and others who are being hurt. - Assuming you are an adult, you are capable of taking action to improve your situation--you already have! You're here reading this web page, aren't you?. One step at a time, and you'll get there.
- You are not alone! There are people on this web site that will help you deal with abusive relationships. You can tell your story here and get support and professional advice about what to do. You can also read other visitors' stories and learn from their experience. Remember, one step at a time!
One option is to get out of the relationship. The other is to stay and try to work things out. But first, we have to figure out which is the best option!
Here are some things to consider in making your decision:
- Are you or anyone being hurt physically?
- Are you or anyone being sexually abused?
- Are you or anyone being threatened physically or sexually? Do you or anyone feel your life is in danger?
- If you are not sure what physical or sexual abuse is, you will find a full description here.
These are "worse case scenarios," and if you answered "yes" to any or all of the above, you need to find a safe place to go immediately. If you end up getting a divorce, you will need some divorce advice on letting go of a relationship.
There is also emotional or mental abuse. This type of abuse, although it may not seem as extreme as the above, can be just as devastating. Here are some questions to help you decide if you're being emotionally abused:
- Do you find yourself afraid of your partner and don't really know why?
- Do you feel worse about yourself after or while being with your partner?
- Does it seem like your partner does not respect your ability to make your own decisions?
- Does it seem like your partner does not respect you in general?
This type of situation can make start to doubt yourself, and actually interfere with your decision making ability. This can start a downward spiral that just keeps going until you feel that you are not competent to take care of yourself.
Then, if you are actually being abused, you become more and more dependent on the abuser. Not a good thing.
In order to survive abusive relationships, you must educate yourself. Understanding abusive relationships is a first step, and it will also help you to learn to respect yourself and develop healthy anger.
Healthy anger is based on self-love, and it does not harm anyone. Healthy anger is for the purpose of protecting you and keeping you safe.
Healthy anger fuels effective action!
Here are some thoughts for you to consider:
- You are a good person, and you are worthy of being treated with respect.
- No one has the right to hurt you physically, sexually, emotionally or mentally. Of course we all get hurt somewhat in our love relationships--however, if the harm is being done intentionally and it keeps happening, that's another thing. That means you are in an abusive relationship.
- You are not alone. There are thousands of people all over the country devoted to helping people just like you to get yourself and your children out of abusive relationships. Learn more and get some excellent relationship advice here.
- If you are having anger management problems of your own, you probably need to learn these anger management techniques yourself--especially if you are sometimes abusive to your partner yourself!
If you are single, and want some Christian guidance and inspiration, visit Inspration-For-Singles.com where you will find some excellent information and resources.
If you know you're in an abusive relationship, but you're afraid to do anything, here is the help you need:
- Tell your story on this site, and get some support from other visitors.
- Raise your self esteem by reading this book or listening to one of these CD programs.
- This CD program entitled, Nurturing Your Inner Child is specially designed to help you heal emotionally and truly love yourself.
- If you're married or planning to marry, be sure and learn about Expectations In Marriage and Sacred Roles In Marriage to solve your marriage problems and create the best possible relationship you can! Also, try this marriage improvement program free for one month, and watch your relationship get better.
Never, ever give up on yourself! It is never hopeless, no matter how bad it may seem. You have the courage and the good heart to do what must be done to keep yourself and your children safe.
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| EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE: Everyone enters marriage with great expectations. All too often, you may end up disappointed or angry about how things turn out. This program will help you understand your expectations and develop skills for moving beyond your disappointment and become a loving partner to your spouse.
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Here's your chance to ask Dr. DeFoore about your situation. It can be about your anger, somebody else's anger, or about grief, road rage, anxiety or depression. Tell your story with as much detail as possible, and he will give you some free counseling .
Then, if selected, the results will be a web page on this site that will help others! So, there you go--help and be helped! By the way, you can be anonymous if you choose, but if you include your first name, it's better.
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Margie Mahoney, BS, RDH |
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