Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Child abuse of some form or another is more common than most people think. If you were hurt, abused, neglected or abandoned as a child, then that might help you understand and heal your adult anger control problems.
Understanding what happened to you is the first step, and that means getting past your own walls of denial and self-protection.
This is not about blaming parents or anyone, this is just a matter of looking at what happened and how it affected you.
Those affects can take a lot of different forms. Anger is one of the most common results, while others include anxiety, depression, and/or difficulty in close, intimate relationships.
You are no longer a victim. You can heal. Start now, by telling your story here.
Remember, you are your own best anger management resource for healing and recovery. And the heart of that resource is deep inside you.
If you were hurt as a child (and we all were...), I promise you that pain is buried and protected by your own subconscious defense mechanisms.
Here are some ways to get past those layers of protection to the source of healing inside you:
Okay, so now you're getting past the barriers, so it's time to start focusing on the healing process. Well as you can see in the above list, the healing has already begun as you start moving past your barriers.
First, you have to know what happened and how it affected you. You can't heal from child abuse if you don't have a clear understanding of what it was and who is responsible.
Here are the steps to healing that seem to work best from my 40+ years of experience:
If you were a victim of child abuse, I strongly encourage you to use the tools included on this page. Like any tools, the more you use them the better they will work for you. For information on recognizing and preventing child abuse, read this Psychology Today article.
Remember--you are worthy, you have a good heart, and you can do whatever you set your mind (and heart) to! Wherever there has been child abuse, you will find a need for emotional healing.
Preview the "Nurturing Your Inner Child" audio program below now.
Here's your chance to ask Dr. DeFoore about your situation. It can be about child abuse that you experienced or knew about. Tell your story with as much detail as possible, and he will give you some free counseling.
Then, if selected, the results will be a web page on this site that will help others! By the way, you can be anonymous if you choose, but if you include your first name, it's better.
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Stepmother Vicious Beyond Belief
I was 5 years old when my adoptive parents split up. They adopted me when I was 2 and my sister Kathy when she was a newborn. A daughter for her and …
After Years Of Abuse I've Cut Them Off
When I was 11 turning 12, I moved with my father and stepmother. I quickly learned that she resented me. My father typed up pages of horrible allegations …
We Are Hurting Each Other And I Want To Stop My Part
I am a 19 year old girl in a relationship with a 24 year old guy. Here is some background about me: My parents had me when they were both 17 years old. …
I Feel Lower Than Low
I'm a 44 year old male, never married and no kids of my own. My childhood sucked. Sexual things done to me by my sister who is 4 years older than me. …
My Low Self Esteem Invited The Wrong Guy
Recently, my husband has decided to vacate our three year marriage. Together a total of 15 years. I caught him cheating with a co-worker that is …
Denial Of Sexual Abuse
When I was 3 years old I was sexually abused by my father. As I progressed in age I was sexually abused by my brother. I came from an alcoholic family. …
My Stepmother's Anger And Hatred Has Ruined My Life
My stepmother has had an unreasonable hatred of me since I was 8 years old. I was about 7 when she married my Father. She has always been very jealous …
Healing After 27 Years
I was 12 years old and camping with my best mate and a scout leader. We were both raped by this man and made to do things that were just wrong. I was young …
Premature Forgiveness When You're Not Sure Who Is Responsible Not rated yet
I have been married for 16 years. Ten years ago my daughter (15 at the time) accused my husband (her step-father) of sexually abusing her. It never …
I Was Abused As A Child And Now I'm Emotionally Abusive In My Marriage Not rated yet
Dr. DeFoore, I was emotionally and physically abused by 4 older brothers for over 14 years while growing up. I used my anger and resentment toward …