Dealing With Anger Addiction
And Rage Addiction

Dealing with anger is especially difficult when the anger and rage outbursts happen again and again. This is known as anger addiction or rage addiction. These patterns are hard to stop, and the results are devastating to everyone involved.

Take a look at this diagram to get a picture of how the anger addiction pattern occurs. It all starts with unmet needs. You can deal with these problems, because you're a good person and you have what it takes--believe in yourself!

Get started now on breaking the addiction cycle and reclaiming your life.

1. You're just not feeling right. Your needs aren't being met, and you may feel abused or neglected, either in the past or the present.
2. You've tried to fix things in different ways, but nothing seems to work. You're just not getting what you want.
3. You may not tell anyone, but you feel a lot of anxiety and pain, almost all of the time.
4. You start getting angry, and you don't deal with anger well at all. Since you're not dealing with anger well, the anger just builds and builds.
5. You may feel stress and discomfort from this, or like you're going to explode. And then you do explode. Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. This is not how you want to be dealing with anger, but you feel caught up in something out of your control. This can result in bullying or Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
6. Some of your stress is relieved after the explosion, and you might even feel better, but it doesn't last.
7. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world--either way you don't like the results of your explosion. You swore you wouldn't do it again, but you just can't seem to stop.
8. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore.
9. You might even think you were justified in this way of dealing with anger, exploding and blaming someone else for how you felt or what you did.
10. Your needs still are not met. The cycle is complete, and the problem is worse. But you got the temporary relief from anger/rage release, so if something doesn't happen to break the cycle you will probably do it all again. This is addiction. You don't have to live like this.

Fortunately, there are many different ways of dealing with anger addiction and rage addiction. Let's look at some:

1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not. Learn about Nurturing Your Inner Child here. Once you begin to meet some of your own emotional needs, you will be more easily satisfied with what others can give you, taking a lot of stress out of relationships.
2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior. You may need Anger Management Counseling or an Anger Management Program to help you with that.
3. Give yourself some relief from physiological distress. This can also help in dealing with anger and rage addiction and breaking anger addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area. Getting plenty of rest is also essential to alleviating physiological distress.
4. Develop good skills for how to deal with stress, since this can be a key to preventing and healing anger problems.
5. Find healthy ways to release your anger and rage . This is extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle. You can read Dr. DeFoore's book or listen to his Anger Management Techniques CD to learn more about healthy anger and rage release.
6. Experiencing physical release and relief with healthy anger work can be a major breakthrough for some people suffering from anger/rage addiction. Feeling powerful, being loud and using physical aggression in safe, non-destructive ways lets you know that it's okay to be strong and take charge of your situation. And no one has to get hurt in the process.

• Anger can be healthy, rage never is healthy
• Anger can be expressed in healthy, controlled ways for good outcomes, while rage is always destructive
• Rage always has some anger mixed in, but a lot of anger does not contain rage
• Anger can be simple and straight-forward, while rage is a complex mix of anger, fear, panic and desparation, as with people suffering with PTSD
• People often remember what they said and did while they were angry, but after an extreme rage attack they will frequently forget what they said and did--this is sometimes called a "blackout," similar to what happens when a person has been drinking heavily

As you can see, there are major differences between anger and rage. However, when patterns indicate anger addiction, the differences become less clear. That is, when you're dealing with anger addiction, you are very close to rage.

Dealing with anger addiction and rage addiction by breaking the addiction cycle is one of the most powerful ways you can take charge of your emotions and improve your life. If you feel you need more than this, check out some of these other resources, or read about Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Most importantly, remember that you've got what it takes to manage your anger and reach all of your goals!

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