As a server in a busy restaurant, I am trying to help the manager find an effective solution to a good cook's anger management issues so that he does not have to lose his job.
He recently lost control, throwing a plateful of food across the passbar, and has become increasingly difficult to work with. If I were in charge, I would offer him a choice between a week off to consider his career options and an anger management class, but before I make this suggestion to the manager, I would like to find a free anger management class to make the suggestion valid.
Unfortunately, all of the classes are extremely expensive, and everyone involved, including the restaurant, is on a tight budget.
It would be a simple thing to replace him, but most of the time he is likeable, and as I said earlier, a good cook. Is there anything that I can suggest? Is there an intervention that I can offer that would benefit all involved? Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Lesley, and thanks for telling your story here. Here are the free programs I offer:
Free Anger Management Techniques Ebook when you sign up for our free Healing Anger newsletter
. The Ebook includes a full assessment and many different methods of anger management to choose from.
See all of the free anger management tools here
I hope this gives you what you're looking for.
My very best to you,
I Was Betrayed By My Boss
I am a supervisor of several co-workers. I express to my boss strategies I've been working on with one person who I am trying to empower to take action about a personal problem that is affecting work productivity.
I asked my boss not to give too much attention to this person to fix the situation for him. Later the same day I hear that my boss used his influence to fix his situation and expressed happiness to do so in a group meeting where I was present.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I know it can be very frustrating when someone completely disregards a request, like you described in your story. You were trying to empower your co-worker, and your boss (as I understand it), bypassed your strategy and solved the problem for the co-worker.
You have every right to feel upset about this, and you may feel angry as well. The important thing is how you deal with that anger so that it doesn't hurt you in the long run. If you just stuff it, it could lead to bitterness, depression or illness on your part. If you allow yourself to blow up at work, or get passive aggressive with your boss, it could hurt your job standing.
So, what we want to do is find a way for you to express your anger in a healthy way. I suggest you do the three part journaling process described on this page. This will give you 1) a way of exploring any past trauma that might be triggered by your current situation, 2) a way of getting your anger out where no harm is done, and 3) an exercise for shifting your focus to the positive things in you and the world around you.
I hope this helps.
My very best to you,
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