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Troubled Relationship

by Aaron

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years, but we have had many rough patches the most recently being in the past month. We constantly fight and I am always worried about her cheating. A lot of the time the fighting comes from when she ignores me or puts other things first, such as going on Facebook before messaging me back or just ignoring my messages.

Recently she has met a new guy friend who she has talks to often and has even told him he is hot. I found out and was quite angered and she said that it was just joking around and they are friends and that my anger and jealousy are making her no longer want to be with me and that she is losing feelings for me.

I love her and don't want to lose her and the only way I can keep her is if I go to counseling which I am more than willing to do, but I just need to know what I can do to stop the constant fighting and the jealousy I feel every time she talks to another guy or decides to ignore my messages and go on Facebook first.

She also uses Facebook to tell the world everything happening in her life, yet often neglects to tell me--allowing me to find out with the rest of the world. She also says she no longer enjoys talking to me or looks forward to talking to me any more because all we do is fight, or I ask a ton of questions trying to figure out how to improve. All this does is frustrate her and further the problem. Please help.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Aaron, and thanks for telling your story here. It is great that you want to improve yourself, so that you can have a better relationship. Love is letting go...I don't know if you've ever thought of that. Hold on too tight, and love leaves. This is a tough lesson to learn, but a very important one.

Read each of these pages, and I think you'll find the guidance you're looking for:

relationship advice
letting go of a relationship

I also suggest you address your own emotional healing and self esteem with this audio program about nurturing your inner child.

Believe in yourself, Aaron, and focus on creating good feelings for you. That will attract others to you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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