Older 42 Year Old Son Appears To Be Out Of Control

by Anonymous

Our son is 42 and becomes threatening, abusive and out of control at the slightest provocation. He directs his venom towards his mother, sister and girlfriend, then when he calms down he seems to think every one should just ignore what has just taken place.

He appears to become aggressive after even 1 glass of red wine. In his 6 to 8 grade years at school a female teacher unknown to us, made his life absolute misery mistaking him for his cousin, whose mother was having an affair with her husband. Consequently he did extremely poorly at school.

He has tried a few jobs, without a lot of success, except fencing. When learning this trade, he topped his class.

He appears to like almost excessively violent sports like UFC cage fighting. I believe it is only a matter of time before somebody or someone gets seriously hurt.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It is clear that you are concerned about your son, and want to do anything you can to help him. I will try to help you.

You didn't mention if he was living with you or not, but I think you will benefit from reading this page either way. Your son is not a helpless victim--he is totally responsible for his behavior and his future. It is time for you to let go, and trust him to sort things out for himself. I know that is hard, but you simply cannot help him unless he's helping himself.

The best thing you can do for him is trust him to find his way, believe in the goodness in him, pray for him, and let him go. The following three links will give you more help with this:

quotes on relationships
relationship advice
letting go of a relationship

Focus on your own life as you let go of your worries about your son. Make up your mind to create as much health, joy and love in your life as you possibly can.

You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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