My Nine Year Old Daughter

by Natalia
(Gibraltar)

Well I have a nine year old daughter and a three year old son. Am married and my husband has a fifteen year old daughter from his previous marriage. My two kids are from my husband so yes they are all from the same father.


When I met my husband his daughter was a year old and she used to live with her mother. I had my nine year old when his fifteen year old daughter was six, she was living with her mother but three years ago they gave his daughter to live with him ( us ). Long story.

Well ever since his daughter has lived with us all there is in my home is shouting, arguing and debate. I just can't take it no more. I get on really well with my husband's daughter but am very worried about my nine year old. She's been getting the blame for everything that goes on in my home because yes she is a very loud girl.

But she takes after her father and she's always in the middle for all that has to do with arguments in my home. And I know deep down there is something bothering her. She just won't tell anyone because in previous discussions she only says 'I don't care. I am not saying anything. I just want my sister to go!'

I'm in a very difficult situation here only because I don't know if to leave my husband or to wait two more years for her to leave home.

I have tried just about anything I could think of. I only want a normal average family, not this one that I have to be always afraid with what to expect every time I come home. Please help us. Thank you.




Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Natalia, and thanks for telling your story here. One thing to be aware of is that a lot of research has been done with blended families such as yours. A very important point is that the biological parent needs to be the primary parent for their own biological children, so that a step parent is never the primary parent over the biological parent.

It could be that your nine year old is jealous, because of your relationship with your step daughter. I can't know this for certain, but just be sure that your husband is doing the primary parenting of his (15 year old) daughter.

I strongly encourage you to check out the program below. You can listen to free previews, and download a copy right now.

You can reach your goals, Natalia. You are a good person and a good parent, which is why you told your story here.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore