I'm 16 yrs Old And I Don't Just Want Help I Need Help

by Shantel
(OR)

I'm sixteen yrs old and I want help for my anger. I am an only child and I know part of my anger I get from my dad, the other part I don't know where it comes from.

I am depressed and I've seen counselors and have been put on depression pills. Nothing seems to work.

When I was fifteen I was involved with a twenty-three yr old. When that broke off and he went to prison. It killed me because he made me believe he loved me and I fell in love with him. I tried to overdose twice and I was also cutting my wrists. One day I was at school and just couldn't take anything anymore so I walked home and shot myself. I survived and I am thankful.

My parents and I have never had a great relationship. My dad and I are always butting heads because we're so much alike. My mom can just say one thing to me and it will set me off. My mom and I are constantly fighting and my anger is getting out of control. I'm always being hounded about my grades and to do better, but I'm not perfect!

I'm so much different than my parents and all the pushing to do better I can't handle. I'm always being told I'm a disappointment. I never hear I love you. I'm the type where I need to hear I love you once in a while. It hurts and I feel I can't talk to anyone.

When I get angry I leave my house because if I stay it will make me go crazy. I hate getting so angry because I really do feel crazy when I do get angry. I hate that feeling! If you can please help me I would really appreciate it.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Shantel, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you've had a very hard time, and I'm glad you're asking for help even after all you've been through. There is help for you, and it's important that you stop hurting yourself. I was glad to read that you're thankful that you survived after shooting yourself.


You need to make friends with your anger, as strange as that seems. It will help you to calm down and not feel so crazy when you're mad. Follow my recommendations, and I think it will help you.

Start keeping an anger journal, as described on this page. This gives your anger somewhere safe to go, and it will be less likely to come out in the unhealthy ways. It will also help you understand your anger.

To deal with the trauma in your past, you can use these writing exercises to help you think through and process what happened.

Take a look at these imagery processes for emotional healing, and see if they might be helpful to you in your healing process. They help you to go back and revisit your memories with love and compassion for yourself.

Start also keeping a positive journal as described on this page, and focus on the good things in you and the world around you. If this doesn't seem to fit for you now, then don't worry about it. Start using the positive journaling when you start feeling better.

It might also be helpful to use this two part imagery process for overcoming anxiety and positive mental rehearsal as you prepare yourself for your day or any stressful situation.

Of all these exercises, I think the anger journal will be the most helpful to you. It will help you to become more conscious of your anger, and it sounds like it has been mostly unconscious up until now.

Do this for yourself, Shantel. Be good to you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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