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It's Been Ten Months Since He Told Me To Get Out

by Debbie

I got involved with a friend, who wanted me to move in. After 1 year of telling me at least 4 times to get out he would change his mind. After the 5th time on a Sunday, he woke up from a nap and said it was time to go.

After I packed my car, he said he would help me get my stuff out of car. I knew if I had any pride, I had to go. I lost over 30 lbs since I was with him. Always of accusing me of stuff. 10 months have gone by, I live alone and he is begging me for that second chance.

my heart and soul still feels love or fear. My family hates him because on the outside they could see what he did to me. All emotional. He can be quite the charmer, but then turn on you. I believe he regrets what he did to me...or does he? He sends me texts everyday.

One day I am a hell of a woman, next time I'm a sly m-f, his words. He went so far to move a girl in for 3 days just to see if he would get a rise out of me, then he kicked her out.

I'm very confused, but not really. In my heart I know it would not work--well, maybe a little while, but I just believe it would get worse. People who knew me from the outside said he was killing me slowly. I was too scared to leave.

Do you get use to the pain? I have a wonderful man who came into my life. Such a sweet loving man, who just wants to take care of me. I just can't seem to let go. Any advice?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Debbie, and thanks for telling your story here. I can see you're having a hard time letting go. I'm also real glad you're in a new, healthier relationship. I will try to help.

You're not alone with this problem. Many people have trouble letting go of relationships, even when it is abusive. That's why I've written several articles on this topic. I strongly encourage you to read them (linked below), and follow the recommendations you find there. This will help you to let go.

Here are the articles:

quotes on relationships
letting go of a relationship

As you'll see when you read those articles, Debbie, it all boils down to how you feel about yourself and what you want for your own life. Do the exercises recommended, and you will start to value yourself to feel worthy of kindness and respect in all of your relationships, all of the time.

Believe in yourself and the goodness in your heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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