Every single one of us is sensitive, somewhere deep inside. The problem is not whether you're sensitive, it's whether you're reactive.
We all want to keep our cool in the face of slights and put-downs, which comes from being emotionally healthy, not from being thick-skinned or insensitive. When you're emotionally healthy, you love yourself so much that the slights and put-downs bounce right off of you.
Here's what the emotionally healthy person says to her/himself when insulting comments come along:
"If they really knew me, they wouldn't say that."
"He's talking about himself, he just doesn't know it."
"She must feel really bad about herself to say that about another person."
I know, this is easier said than done--but you can do it! Start right now, and learn to love yourself with the inner child audio CD.
What Do You Say When You Get Insulted?
Everybody wants the cool comeback when the slights and put-downs come. Here are some ideas about what to do and say:
Nothing. That's right, sometimes a mean or insensitive comment doesn't deserve any response at all. Most of the time this is the best response.
Change the subject. Move on to another topic, simply because you didn't like what the person said, so you're not giving it the time of day.
Say something positive to the person who put you down. I know, it sounds weird, but it can sometimes work. It's not what they expect. If you can think of something that you mean sincerely, compliment the person who insulted you.
The last thing you want to do is try to "get them back." If you do that, you've lowered yourself to their level, and even if you win the "who can say the meanest thing" contest, you won't end up feeling good or getting even.
Okay, this might not be working for you--you might just want to go for the jugular. If that's what you want to do, then go for it. If you're tired of that back-and-forth, followed by feeling bad, then try some of these ideas.
Are You The One Dealing Out The Insults?
Well, if you've made it to this point on the page, I know for sure that you're a good person and you want to stop hurting others. That is excellent!