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Breaking The Chain

by Ken
(Brainerd, MN)

I'm Ken (a 67 year old male), and I was raised with a verbally abusive father who was loving to my siblings, but disliked me. My sister jokes (she thinks it's funny) that she was 10 years old before she realized my name was not "dumbass."

I have carried the damage all my life. My wife was a big help to me, and was vital in keeping me sane, and minimizing the damage to our children. I've tried every antidepressant, years of therapy, and intense exercise (for the endorphins), and so avoided the worst effects by staying busy.

My wife died almost 2 years ago, and I'm retired, so I have lost my stabilizer and my distraction. I had a girlfriend for the last year, and now she is gone, mostly because I got mad and yelled at her.

Though I have felt many times like expressing my frustration physically, I have never done that. I find I am filled with anger, self-loathing, and despair. If I had the courage, I'd end it, but I don't, so I guess it's either live with it or find a cure.

The problem I have found is that nobody wants to cure depression, they only want to treat it. Any advice?

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Jul 29, 2016
You Can Definitely Heal Your Depression And Anger
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Ken

I appreciate you sharing your story here. You seem very clear in your understanding of how you have coped over the years, and how two major supports have been removed recently.

I am sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what your grief must be like. In that regard, it occurred to me while reading your story that some of the anger and depression you're experiencing could be related to your grieving process.

It's also clear that you're experiencing some residual damage from the abuse by your father.

I assure you, Ken, as a 67 year old man myself, with 42 year of professional experience as a can fully heal and recover and have a good quality of life going forward.

I offer many resources on my web site, and I encourage you to check them out, especially these treatments for depression and this page on the grieving process.

If you're interested, I also offer counseling services via phone, Skype or other video chat functions for clients from all over the world. Please contact me if you'd like more information on any of this (contact link on the left side of this page).

I encourage you to believe in yourself, Ken, and the power of healing that resides within you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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