I Am Sam

by Sam
(GA)

I grew up in a household with a very angry dad. He wasn't physically abusive but verbally he sure was.

I always promised my mom I wouldn't be like that, but the more relationships I'm in the more I've noticed that I'm just like my old dad--angry, miserable and fly off the handle for no reason at all.

I do not want to be like this. It effects and ruins everything. It makes my girlfriend nervous and I know it's not fair. I also find myself being controlling and that's part of it to. Wow, Dad thanks for the genes!

I just do not want to spend my life making all the same mistakes my popz did. I love him but I sure don't want to be him. I'd like to be in a healthy fair relationship and have good communication skills, otherwise no one is going to want to be with me.

I mean how fun could it be listening to a rageaholic all day and flying off the handle about the littlest things? It's completely irrational and I need help. I am young, just twenty and I need to do this now before I get any more set in my ways. Help me please.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sam, and thanks for telling your story here. Congratulations on taking responsibility for your anger, and making up your mind to change your patterns. By the way, genes actually have very little influence. Role modeling is much more influential, which is good, because it means it's easier for you to change.

I recommend two processes for you. Follow all of the guidelines on these pages, and you will get the results you're looking for.

dealing with your anger patterns
letting go of parents' influence

Since you describe yourself as a rageaholic, you might also benefit from these two pages:

anger addiction
dealing with rage addiction

Do this for you, Sam. You're worth it. Make up your mind to create a good life for yourself.

Believe in yourself and your good heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.