I Am Angry A Lot For No Reason And I'm Only 14 Years Old

by Amanda
(Vacaville, California, USA)

My name is Amanda and I'm 14 years old. I find myself getting mad at the stupidest things.

I yell at my dad if he says the simplest things and it just makes me mad and I don't see why. I've told him more than several times that I want to punch him.

I don't mean these things, it just comes out. And I don't know why. I don't really have any reason to be mad at all. Sometimes I run around my house knocking things off the wall and fighting so hard not to punch things. I'll bite down really hard on my tongue and clench my fists. I've even broke a hairbrush before.

I've addressed my parents about the fact that I think I have a problem. They don't think I do, but they don't understand how I feel inside. Sometimes I feel so angry, my heart beats so fast, and I feel so flustered. My parents said that I need to eat healthier and exercise for a couple weeks and then see how I feel & then we'll go to the doctor.

But I honestly don't think I'm going to feel any better. Please answer.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Amanda, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you're a good person. You just need somewhere safe to express your anger. I'm not suggesting this will solve all of your problems, but it will help, if you do it.

I know you said you "don't really have any reason to be mad at all." I have been working with people with anger issues for a long time, and I've never met anyone who didn't have good reasons for their anger. You have good reasons for your anger, and when you begin to understand what those reasons are, you will be on the road to healing.


Start keeping an anger journal, as described on this page. This gives your anger somewhere safe to go, and it will be less likely to come out in the unhealthy ways. It will also help you understand your anger.

If you have had any trauma in your past, you can use these exercises to sort through what happened and get the resolution you need.

Take a look at these imagery processes for emotional healing, and see if they might be helpful to you in your healing process.

Start also keeping a positive journal as described on this page, and focus on the good things in you and the world around you. If this doesn't seem to fit for you now, then don't worry about it. Start using the positive journaling when you start feeling better.

It might also be helpful to use this two part imagery process for overcoming anxiety and positive mental rehearsal as you prepare yourself for your day or any stressful situation.

I hope this is helpful. If you don't do anything else, at least try the anger journaling.

Believe in yourself, Amanda. And never give up on yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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