I Am Angry A Lot For No Reason And I'm Only 14 Years Old
(Vacaville, California, USA)
My name is Amanda and I'm 14 years old. I find myself getting mad at the stupidest things.
I yell at my dad if he says the simplest things and it just makes me mad and I don't see why. I've told him more than several times that I want to punch him.
I don't mean these things, it just comes out. And I don't know why. I don't really have any reason to be mad at all. Sometimes I run around my house knocking things off the wall and fighting so hard not to punch things. I'll bite down really hard on my tongue and clench my fists. I've even broke a hairbrush before.
I've addressed my parents about the fact that I think I have a problem. They don't think I do, but they don't understand how I feel inside. Sometimes I feel so angry, my heart beats so fast, and I feel so flustered. My parents said that I need to eat healthier and exercise for a couple weeks and then see how I feel & then we'll go to the doctor.
But I honestly don't think I'm going to feel any better. Please answer.Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Amanda, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you're a good person. You just need somewhere safe to express your anger. I'm not suggesting this will solve all of your problems, but it will help, if you do it.
I know you said you "don't really have any reason to be mad at all." I have been working with people with anger issues for a long time, and I've never met anyone who didn't have good reasons for their anger. You have good reasons for your anger, and when you begin to understand what those reasons are, you will be on the road to healing.
Start keeping an anger journal, as described on this page
. This gives your anger somewhere safe to go, and it will be less likely to come out in the unhealthy ways. It will also help you understand your anger.
You will also find several other very helpful techniques on that page to help you heal your anger and begin shifting your focus to the good things in your life.
I hope this is helpful. If you don't do anything else, at least try the anger journaling.
Believe in yourself, Amanda. And never give up on yourself.
My very best to you,
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