Anger With A Helper At Home

by JK
(Singapore)

I feel angry with the helper at home when she does not take the best possible care of the children. She sometimes delays feeding them when I am not around. Second, she wants her own priority well-taken care of above the children and keeps taunting the children with remarks that make them angry.

She repeatedly does things her way even when I have told her my preference. For example, I ask her to put the bread in the fridge after a day, and I will find it moldy quite a number of times on the kitchen top.

I am not sure how to deal with this because I have to constantly face her and rely on her help and it is not easy to change. I can't do the housework myself or get part-time help at this point in time. I am not sure how to deal with my daily anger which festers in me and brings my pressure up everyday. By the way I am on medication for high blood pressure.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello JK, and thanks for telling your story here. I suggest you start by getting your anger out on a daily basis, where you can be more objective about it. Use the journaling process on this page as a guideline.

Then do the positive journaling on this page, to be sure you're looking at the good things in yourself, your family and your helper.

Having done all of that, it should be clear to you whether you need to go through the process of replacing your helper. I hear you, that it's tough to do that, but if your children's well being is at stake, then you may need to.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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