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Stressed Out Mother Who Needs Anger Management Activities

by Lill

My name is Lill, I am 30 years old. Me and my husband only have one child that is 6 years old. Since he is born, I didn’t have any help, my mother lives in a different town.

I am a very clean, neat person, I cannot stand messy, dirty and clutter houses, it makes me feel claustrophobic and irritable. Now, for me it is difficult, I do not have a maid.

I am at home, my boy goes to school till 2 in the afternoon, but still I can’t get everything done. I feel that my house must be perfect, in case some of the other mothers want to come for a play-date.

They all work and have maids, and there houses are super clean. I want to be with my son at the afternoons, so it is my choice in a way. If I could have a half day work, maybe I could afford a maid, as they are costing a lot of money these days.

So I feel all the time drained, tired, have to balance everything. (cooking at night, ironing in the afternoon, spending time with my boy, making sure the house is clean).

On the weekends the house comes never clean, I clean also the garden and I wash and vacuum the car, so on the weekends it gets too much, and then I will have these extreme anger outbursts, screaming to please listen to me, pack away your toys, you made 4 pants dirty already in mud, stop doing that. Mommy does not have a maid or a tumble dryer to dry the clothes quickly and it rains a lot now in winter.

It feels nobody appreciates what I am doing and not seeing how I suffer. I feel like a slave, my hands are in such a state, because of all the work I do. I feel I have been thrown into a deep pit, and nobody or even I can get myself out.

I hate this struggle of money, sometimes I think my husband and little boy are better off with me.

I do not know what to do anymore, I want the struggle of money to stop, just make it stop. I never use to get angry, maybe once
a year, now I am angry all the time.

This is not me, I do not have fun anymore, I am so unhappy, I want to have fun and be happy.

So people will say, take a break, go away, since we got married, we never could even afford a holiday, so how can I take a break. Just If I die, I can take a break and I don’t want to, there is so much to live for, but I feel stuck, I need to get out of this and I don’t now how. I want to be that fun loving person again. I used to be the funniest person to be around.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Lill, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you're having a very hard time. I will try to help.

I'm glad you want to be your natural fun-loving self. That is excellent. I think that if you do all of the journaling processes recommended on this page, you will find your stress, depression and anger beginning to subside. You have to keep doing this journaling, Lill, for it to help you.

Hopefully, this will help you to relax a little about the cleaning. Being neat and clean is important, but it's not supposed to be a source of irritation and anger for you.

After you start feeling some relief from the journaling, try using this two part imagery process, and focus on staying happy and calm as you go through your tasks. Especially focus on being kind and loving to your children at all times.

You can do this, Lill. You're a good person, and that's why this anger bothers you. You are worthy of a good life, and if you use these tools, you will be able to create one for yourself.

Believe in your wisdom and the goodness of your heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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