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My "Wonderful" Manager

by DPA

I was interning at this fortune 100 company (I'll just keep the name private). I did a back-to-back internship, which is the summer internship and the fall internship. So I worked for them for about 7 months. At first I really loved my manager. He was just great! Then when I started my second internship, he started to act "funny". At first, he doesn’t want me to go to the interns’ activities which were the official get-together that we do every month for about 6 hours during the work hours. Of course the intern coordinator had a chat with him about this because it wouldn’t be fair for me to not come to these activities while my status was still an intern. Then one day, there was this town hall where everybody throughout the company was invited and he did not want me to go because he wanted me to work instead. I asked if he and my other two co-workers were going to go, he said no. So I thought that was fair enough for everyone. Then on the day, he took my two co-workers to go to this town hall and left me behind. What even makes me madder was they distributed some gift baskets for everybody and he did not even grab 1 for me. How thoughtful of him.

Then goes the work hours – my hours were pretty flexible, but it was an 8 hour day usually from 9 to 5:30. If I worked anything past that I wouldn’t get paid because interns were not eligible for overtime. So I usually stuck around until about 6pm, 6:30pm, or even 7pm because he and my 2 co-workers did so. But on the days that I tried to leave on time, I would receive comments like “Aw, leaving already?” or “Working 7 hours today?” Just some hurtful comments that made me feel like I was obligated to stay until 7pm like everyone else – there goes my paycheck.

But oh well, I tried to put all of these behind since it’s just so unnecessary for me to keep getting upset at him. Until my last day of the internship – while other managers did something for the interns on their last day – you know like one of those small farewell parties, or just a small gift to thank their efforts, whatever, mine decided that he wasn’t going to be at work on my last day. Ok whatever, I was actually happy not to see him that day. So by 3pm, all of the other interns left their work for good while I was still there working. Another co-worker that I was close with was planning to take me out for my farewell at around 4pm. So I thought it was ok since all the other interns had left for good anyway so I told my co-worker that so and so is taking me out and I’ll be back in an hour. About 30 minutes later, my co-worker called me telling me that my manager was there and wanted to see me right away. Uh-oh, this was not good. So it took us about 15 minutes to get back to the office and meanwhile my manager kept calling my cell phone like crazy. He sounded really pissed!!!

It turned out that he wanted my pager, keys, and company ID back while I had asked one of the intern coordinators before if it is okay to turn these in on Monday since I need to work an extra shift that night and I need my ID to clock in and out. I didn’t have my pager with me, and I wanted to see one of my co-workers on Monday to say goodbye since he was on vacation that week. The intern coordinator was okay with the Monday plan. I told my manager that I couldn’t turn in my ID and pager that day for that reason and he blew up even more. He was already so upset that I wasn’t on my desk at 4pm on my last day to begin with. He insisted that I turn in my ID right now because quote “after 5pm today, it’s all over, you’re no longer part of the company, and you’re not welcomed here” plus he told me that I was so unprofessional that I left my work at 4pm on my last day. What a jerk!!!!!!

First of all, he was also unprofessional. If he wanted me to turn in all those things on Friday, make an appointment instead of just showing up out of the blue when it was supposed to be his day off!! Then second of all, I had asked the intern coordinator if it was okay to turn all those in Monday and she was okay with it. Why contradict what she said?! Well, if I didn’t have my ID, it meant that I needed to call in and we got a point on our record card for not calling in. So if he wanted me to call in badly, he should had been the one to call in for me and explain the situation so that I wouldn’t get the point. He wouldn’t hear any explanation and he wanted me to fetch my pager right away. But before I went, he insisted that I gave up my keys and company ID --- Dumb manager, I needed my ID to get into the building because after 6pm they locked it. So finally I left without giving my ID back.

I came back around 7pm and he was gone, so I just swiped my ID and get into the building. He unplugged my work PC!!! Aaarrrgghhh…. I was still working on some work for him before I left!!! Please, doesn’t he have any courtesy!!! I was so mad but I decided that I’d redo the work because I wanted him to see that I did my job. Well, around 8pm he came back, was surprised as heck to see me still there since he mentioned that I wasn’t welcomed anymore after 5pm that day. So I gave him the pager but not the ID because I needed it to work again that night plus I already got permission from the intern coordinator. He was like “Fine then!” then left without saying goodbye, nice knowing you, thanks for being here, whatsoever! What a jerk!!!!

I just can’t believe what he said and the fact that he doesn’t trust me with the office keys and company ID for 2 more days after I’ve worked for him for 7months. It seems like he never counted those times that I stayed around being unpaid working for him!!! I heard that he gave me a really good evaluation, but why start all of this nonsense on my last day? Who in their right mind wants to argue with someone on her very last day anyway?! So this little experience was really hurtful for me and it’s just unbelievable and so hard to forget and forgive.

Comments from Dr. DeFoore:

Thanks to DPA for her story! I'm sure we can all relate to what she went through. In my experience, really good managers are rare, so a lot of people get treated poorly even though they do a good job.

The challenge when this happens is 1) not to fall into the "victim" role, 2) allow yourself to become bitter or angry on an ongoing basis, or 3) harbor a grudge that only serves to harm you.
Remember, forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven. Hopefully, DPA will find a way to forgive her manager--not because he deserves it, but so that she doesn't carry the toxic emotions of old anger and resentment.

Love and forgiveness set you free, help to breathe more easily, and allow you to sleep better at night. Forgive because it is good for you!
Thanks again to DPA for her contribution!

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