My Guy Slept With Another Woman
My boyfriend and I started out hot and heavy, very inseparable. We moved in with each other after only a few weeks of meeting, and I was pregnant by month two.
We both had some drama with exes that causes a lot of blow outs and move outs every two weeks, it seems. But we love each other and we are both very explosive. I would stoop low and talk crap about his kids because that was his weak spot. I actually love them to death.
Anyway we separated for a few weeks. I ran away to California to visit family for a few weeks. We still expressed love for each other so I was sure we would work it out. I come home and his children tell me about a girl he was seeing and turns out had sex with. I was destroyed! So we talked and decided to work it out.
I cannot let go of the betrayal, and I get physical, although I do not condone this behavior. Again he moved out and we decided to move into our own places and date. I need help getting the anger out in another way and let go because I love him and want him in my life.
How do I do this?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Lisa, and thanks for telling your story here. It is good that you want to get your anger out in healthy ways, so that you don't hurt the people you care about. I will try to help.
First, I suggest that you read here about overcoming jealousy. You need to decide on the course of action that is best for you. Your boyfriend was unfaithful, and that is totally his responsibility, just as your anger and getting physical is totally your responsibility.
Learn to understand and deal with your anger by using the tools described on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, but they only help if you use them. If you use them, you will feel better and make some progress.
Believe in the goodness in your heart, Lisa, and place your own emotional needs above the relationship.
I hope this is helpful.
My very best to you,
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