Looking For A Row
I am 30 and was diagnosed with and started on treatment for depression at Christmas time. I live with my boyfriend and have done so for just over a year now. The real problem is with me.
I get so down sometimes and the only way that I feel that I can get my boyfriend's attention is by behaving very poorly. Usually I do this at night by banging on the bedside furniture or sighing continuously until I get his attention. Then I just spew sheer rage at him.
I wouldn't have thought that I was an angry person. I am generally a very timid person and find it a little difficult to adjust to new people or situations. However, with people close to me I behave like a seething and raging volcano. I know I am doing it but I can't help myself. I want to stop.
I don't like myself for doing these things but sometimes I feel like it is the only way to get attention when I need some.
Please help. I feel like my relationship cannot survive this bad behavior much longer.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Claire, and thanks for telling your story here. I respect the way you are taking total responsibility for your emotions and your behavior. That gives you the freedom to correct the situation--whereas, if you were caught in blaming others, your healing process would be much more difficult.
So, you're in a good place to get started. I suggest that you begin by doing all of the exercises on this FAQ page, which represent a deep and thorough healing process, if you take them seriously and do them consistently. Something tells me you will.
I suggest you get a copy of our program on nurturing your inner child, as it is very helpful for guiding you to emotional healing and self love.
You and your boyfriend will benefit from reading and following the exercises in this book: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples.
I hope you find the help you're looking for here, Claire. You are worthy of a happy life.
My very best to you,