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Living Next Door To The Love Of My Life

by Jill

It seems as though ever since I got with this man, my life has fallen apart.
We met almost 7yrs ago, while I was going through a divorce. Then I bought the house right next door to him.

We did not even fight once in 3 yrs. He became a disabled vet (at a young age) and was awarded some back pay. During this same time frame, I lost my job and alimony (the courts were trying to say I lived with the neighbor), and I had 30 some skin cancers removed. I am 8 years older than the neighbor.

He started going to a cabin he was working on and would stay longer and longer. I found out that he was just messing around on me. Then it started happening right at home. I kept going back.

This past weekend we were out drinking and on the way home, he said this, about getting someone else "all it takes is a phone call" and I slapped him. I have never been a violent person. I am pretty sure it was all the anger I have been stuffing away. But you tell me.

I have decided to stop drinking and see if that helps. I think I have lost him for good though. Please advise.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Jill, and thanks for telling your story here. You are wise to stop drinking. That needs to be your top priority, before resolving your anger or relationship issues.

This man does not honor or respect you. Your anger is actually healthy (not the slapping part...), because it's trying to get you out of this abusive relationship. Learn about relationships and letting go with letting go of a relationship.

You have to start focusing on yourself, Jill. If you don't take care of yourself, no one can. And your man-friend certainly isn't being good to you, as far as I can tell from what you've written here..

You are worthy of being loved, respected and cared for, Jill.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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