I Just Want To Break Down And Cry
I find myself getting so angry. I will get angry at little things, say if my sibling is doing something that really ticks me off I will attempt to stay calm and politely ask my sibling to quit what they are doing.
But it almost always ends up with violence, just over simple actions. If I get frustrated I get very frustrated and I get so pissed off I find myself hurting myself so I don't hurt anyone or anything. I sometimes bite myself to relieve the anger but it doesn't help relieve it it just prevents me from having a public panic attack.
I will feel so angry I will start to cry, I will lie down and yell and scream into my pillow, I'll have a tantrum like a five year old.
I know this kind of anger is irrational and I shouldn't have this strong of reactions to them but I feel as if the anger is going to boil over and make my heart explode. I know I have problems with anger and I hope that I'll find new safe ways to deal with it.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Brenna, and thanks for telling your story here. I want you to consider that you have good reasons for your anger, even though you don't know what they are. There is a story behind the kind of anger you describe--there always is. And that story has to be told.
Please follow all of the recommendations on this FAQ page, which will take you through a step by step process of understanding and healing your anger. Do these exercises, even if they don't make sense to you, and you will start to feel better.
Please stop hurting yourself, Brenna. You're a good person, even with all of the anger, and that's why you try so hard not to hurt others. There's nothing wrong with crying, screaming into a pillow, or hitting a pillow--just don't hurt yourself or anyone else. And of course, that kind of release is not enough, even though it may give you temporary relief.
You may also benefit from learning to love and heal your inner emotional self, with this CD/audio program on nurturing your inner child.
Believe in yourself, Brenna. You can heal, and you can find peace.
My very best to you,
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