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Help With Anger And Anxiety

by Anonymous

It all started when I went to see the doctor for a general check up. My blood pressure was showing high, and this amused the doctor as I was only 24. This sent my anxiety through the roof.

I was really anxious about even the minor changes to my body and thought I may have had brain damage or something as a result of it. The doctor then sent me to a specialist clinic a few months later, and I was given an "all clear." (My pressure goes up when I go to see a doctor i.e. white coat hypertension).

However my problem didn't stop there. Before I went to the specialist clinic, as I mentioned earlier I was really anxious about my mind being affected by high BP etc. My girlfriend took me to see a movie (Inception) to take my mind off things. I don't know what happened in the cinema but when I walked out I started feeling woozy (slightly drunky) feeling. I don't know if it was because of the nature of the movie or not (about mind control etc.), since I was anxious already.

This feeling scared me and I couldn't find the answers as to why I felt like this. Doctors told me to ignore it and was probably my anxiety. I thought I'd go India and visit a few temples, maybe my issues will be resolved then. I wanted my mum to come with me but she didn't because we had mortgage and bills to pay, and since my dad wasn't working, she suggested that I go with him. I really didn't want to go with him as I don't talk to him much and he ends up doing his own thing with disregard to others, but my mum said it
will be fine and told him strictly to behave. So I ended up going to India with him.

My mum said I have to go visit this place in India (which I didn't want to) because a relative of mine was really ill. I protested that I didn't want to go, but was forced to go. When I got into India I felt great. I didn't feel woozy and visited the temples, and was great the first week.

However as I got into second week, I was at the place I didn't want to go, and I started feeling slighty woozy again, but ignored it. Then we went to this other temple, just me and my dad, and the plan was that we go there, pray and leave on the same day. However my dad said it would be better if we stay the night because next day we can see the astrologer. I really didn't feel like staying but stayed anyway thinking I might as well. That night I really felt woozy when walking out, and I felt like I was back to where I started.

When I got back to the UK, I was obviously very sad and scared, and I got this very angry feeling towards my parents. My mum forced me to go to that place I didn't want to go to, and this woozy stuff started again.

My dad told me to stay there the night, even though I didn't feel like staying. I didn't object, but if I did object would he have listened? If not, what would have happened? He may have listened but may not have. I keep thinking about the scenario in which he doesn't listen, and make myself angry!

I tried to think differently and tried to look forward but still I can't. My mind keeps going back and thinking what I should have done and how would they have responded. But it's hard, and every time I feel the thought coming in I get scared and then angry. I dont know what to do!

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like you're an adult, in your middle twenties, who really wants to feel better and manage your anxiety. I will try to help.

I think the most important thing is to begin the process of establishing emotional independence from your parents. It is clear from your story that you feel under their control, and since you're an adult, that will never feel good or work well for you. Follow the guidelines on this FAQ page to get this process started. If you're living with your parents, I suggest you get out on your own as soon as possible.

I also suggest you read the following page on anxiety: anxiety symptoms. Follow all of the recommendations on that page, and you will benefit.

I also suggest you use this two part imagery process for overcoming anxiety and positive mental rehearsal. This will help you prepare for any anxiety provoking situation you may be facing.

Believe in yourself, and the calm, focused person you truly are inside.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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