Held Hostage In My Own Home

by Sodie
(USA)

Thank you for this forum.

I have many of the same issues with problem adult children I see on this forum and I too am at a loss for what to do.

My forty seven year old son moved in with me four years ago after losing his job. He has no plans to move out or look for another job, as he says he tried for a year and was always rejected. He believes he is un-employable.

He hates living at home, hates having to deal with his brother coming over with his family, and is almost always in a bad mood. He is often argumentative and verbally abusive to me.

He grabbed my arm, twisting me around to be able to scream NO into my ear recently. This came about because I had asked him politely if he was going to take out the garbage. He has four or five chores we have agreed upon, that are his responsibility, and taking out the garbage is one.

He threatens to commit suicide whenever he becomes enraged and says he will commit suicide if I force him to leave. There is no way he will leave on his own, I would have to call the police to evict him, if they do that.

He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. He has few skills as did not do well in school and further vocational studies did not get him anywhere. I would say he is ADD now as he is certainly not hyper active.

He will not see a therapist. Unfortunately in my area there are no family support groups where at least I could go. To his credit he doesn't use, smoke or drink so at least I don't have those issues to contend with.

I am a widow so there is just the two of us in the home. In the back of my mind is always the worry he will become violent in one of his outbursts, to me, to himself or possibly to my grandchildren who visit about once a week.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.