Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
The real trick with tough love is to use the right amount of both toughness and love. That's where healthy and productive anger comes in. You learn to channel the healthy energy of your emotions into healthy, effective actions.
When anger is healthy, it is not separate from love. What makes anger unhealthy is when it gets disconnected from your good heart and your wisdom.
And tough love definitely needs your good heart and wisdom!
Why does love have to be tough? Good question. It has to be tough because if it's too soft, it can get walked on, manipulated and abused.
When your anger and love are healthy, everybody benefits!
Love is tough and healthy when you're standing your ground, taking care of yourself, and still showing love.
If you're too tough, then you're not feeling the love, and if you're not tough enough you'll get walked on...and guess what? You won't be feeling the love! Here are some other thoughts on strong and healthy love:
Okay, that's great--but how do I do it? Good question, tough answer (there's that word again...).
Basically, you have to have anger that is functional and healthy to show tough love. So, let's take a look at how this happens.
Okay, here's where the good stuff starts. Here are the steps I recommend for developing love that is strong and supportive:
A great way to express tough love is be understanding and clarifying personal boundaries. An excellent way to establish boundaries is to "find the distance from which you can love" the other person. The point is to move to a loving attitude, which you can do up close with some, while with others you will need more distance to feel loving. Learn more about tough love.
The key to making your love strong and supportive is healthy anger. Listen to free previews of this excellent audio program, and get your risk-free copy of the MP3 download or CD now!