Frustrated Parent

by Kaz
(NSW)

I have a 13 year old boy that is very angry and unsettled, which is causing problems for all the family. We have old issues that keep being thrown back in my face.

My child has been bullied at school quite a bit but seems to bully other siblings, verbally and physically. If he doesn't get what he wants he becomes threatening. He is abusive and destroys property (not his of course). He Has been in counseling previously, but does not open up. He blames everything on other people.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Kaz, and thank you for telling your story on this site. You are apparently a good mother who wants the best for her son, and that's why you're asking for help here. I will try to help you, so that you can help your son and your family.

The best results I've ever had with helping kids like your son is with family therapy. The reason that works is that it activates and involves the whole family in the healing process, and everyone takes responsibility.

Your son's behavior has meaning in the context of your family and its history. One of the things you want your son to do is to take responsibility for his behavior. You can lead by example by taking responsibility as his mother for your part of the situation.

You will also benefit from reading the following page on this site, which is designed to help parents in your situation: What To Do If Your Child Is A Bully.

This should give you plenty to work with.

Above all, take care of yourself and believe in yourself. Trust that you will be able to resolve your issues, and never give up on yourself or your son.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore
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