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Fed Up With Being Angry

by Sonya

My story is that I am fed up with being angry. I am generally a calm, cool and collected person. Able to allow certain things to "roll off" me but there are things that I just seem to not let go of and I feel as though it is hurting my future.

I was engaged at one point but I felt as though he was part of the issue in making me so angry. The qualities that he has that I don't like are: always making me feel that if I am not talking to him or if I get off the phone with him, he finds a problem and texts me about it instead of calling or talking about it face-to-face.

That irks the hell out of me because if there is an issue, then let's talk about instead of sending stupid text messages and not returning phone calls. Odd thing is that when we first met, it wasn't this way but over a year and a half now, I feel as though he knows the things that he does that sets me off yet does not see or comprehend what he does to contribute to some of the arguments that we have had in the past.

I admit that I need counseling to get to the root of my anger issues but when you are with someone that antagonizes that in you and has their own issues that needs owning up to then there lays an explosive situation waiting to happen. There are many make-ups and break-ups, and I am just wanting to have a nice, anger-free life. Not to mention have a better relationship with my children.

Things get a little strained with us as well because I have zero tolerance. At one point, I thought things were good and I had it under some control but being in a serious relationship and raising teenage kids lets me know I am not over it and need some help.

I have faith in the Lord and constantly pray about it but now I feel I need some earthly help with it, too.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sonya, and thanks for telling your story here. It is great that you asking for help, and taking responsibility for healing your anger. I will try to help.

You are responsible for your anger and how you deal with it, no matter what your partner does. The good news about that is, you can heal it with or without other people changing the way they act. Follow all of the guidelines on this FAQ page, and you will get the understanding and healing you need.

Also read this page on relationships:

letting go of a relationship

You can do this, Sonya. Set your mind and your good heart to the exercises I've recommended, and you will receive benefit.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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