by Lorraine
(Birmingham)
Hi. I’m 52. I have always been a caring helpful person putting others first i.e. my friends and my family, but have always felt alone, I have never found love. When 27 I thought I was in love and the guy ran off with my best friend.
At the time I felt worthless and kept on asking the question what was wrong with me. I hadn’t been married or had any children because of a hysterectomy.
When I was 32 that was a sadness time of my life, I just smiled through it all and no one knew how much it hurt, so I just continue caring for others.
8 years ago my sister had breast cancer and once again I was the one to take care of things. I had to do things and see things that were not pleasant, sit up at night and talk with her to help but no help for me. Thank God she’s over it now.
2009 was my breaking point. I nearly died in Barbados and people who I thought were true friends did not even bother to come and see me when I got home. This made me feel alone and worthless, like no one really cared.
My parents lived in Barbados and my dad had Alzheimer’s and was getting worse, so they moved back to the UK and lived in my home for 18 months. So once again I became the caretaker. Now I’ve moved, but I’m still looking out for them.
I ask myself why me why not my sisters or my brother that have this responsibility.
I met a man in 2010--my first real relationship. I was so happy (still am, I suppose) but he lives 120 miles away. But with what I have to deal with—stress and lack of confidence, I feel my relationship will end. All I want is someone to tell me how to be happy? Just for the short while I have left.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Lorraine, and thanks for telling your story here. You are a prime candidate for benefitting from a lot of what this web site has to offer. First, I suggest that you start this journaling process on a daily basis, and consider doing at least the positive journaling for the rest of your life. This will really help you, if you do it.
I think you will also benefit greatly from reading the following page on relationships: relationship advice.
Believe in yourself, Lorraine, and make up your mind to create a good life for yourself from this point forward. Use these tools, and you will learn to be happy.
My very best to you,
Dr. DeFoore
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