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Abandonment By My Partner Of 20 Years

by Anonymous

My partner of 20 years, 3 weeks ago came home and told me he no longer was attracted to me, and that he wanted a separation.

There was no real answer to this as he just said that earlier in the day, he came to realize that this was the case.

He then told me that he wanted to move out, and keep his options open to date other people and that he had depression. Any time I tried to get any sort of answer from him, he was like a closed book and just blamed me.

I had talked to friends and family, and they were all of the same opinion, that there was more than meets the eye to this as a loving partner just doesn't do this without reason. He was perfectly fine the day before, and we had very few problems in our relationship and got on quite fine.

When I did some investigation, I had found that he had been chatting with another woman that he had reconnected with at a school reunion. I confronted him on this as I had photos and conversations that had passed between them. Still he denied that he had done anything wrong.

Yet the worse thing is that he was formerly a loving father as well as partner, now he is a cold man who has no sympathy or real involvement in our lives. Today I rang him, and at first he claimed not to know my voice, and asked me who was speaking.

I am quite angry at how he destroyed our beautiful family in an instant, and think that he is a very selfish man who lacks empathy and judgement and will come to regret his decision further down the track.

I cannot reconcile the 2 very different people that he has shown himself to be. I am now raising our two children, meeting all of our financial and emotional responsibilities. As you can imagine, being as angry as I am, I am not wishing him and his new girlfriend well wishes, but have accepted that he no longer wants us in his life.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I can see why you would be very upset by what has happened. I encourage you to do the necessary work to heal, so that you can move on and create a good life for you and your children.

I created the following page to help good folks like you let go and heal from relationships that ended badly: letting go of a relationship.

And you will also find it helpful to learn about building your self esteem.

You are worthy of love and respect and happiness in your life. Make up your mind to create that for yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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