I Come From An Alcoholic Family

by A Troubled Adult Child

So I have a situation. A very close friend of mine told me that I have never dealt with my anger. So I decided to research more about anger.

My family was an alcoholic family. My dad was the one that drank. I remember specific events usually involving my parents arguing and I think I just learned to not argue too much.

There are times I do get angry and really want to let it out but I just do not see why we need to argue. I mean what is the difference between arguing and having a lively discussion? Does being angry mean we have to scream, fight, why can it just not be normal to have a discussion about what you are feeling? Do I have to scream?

I know having come from an alcoholic family that we, as the children, sometimes have anger issues where we learn to not express it. My question I guess, what is anger and what is the right way to express it?

I am very confused, I know I am angry at certain things but do I have to scream it out?

Please help me understand what anger is.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It is great that you want to understand anger, and how to express it in healthy ways. I will try to help.

Here are some pages on my site that will answer your questions:

anger management information
healthy anger
couples communication skills

And here are some books on anger and some audio CDs that you can buy or download. It will also help you to do the exercises described on this FAQ page.

The bottom line here is that anger is a natural, healthy emotion, but most of us never learned to express it in healthy ways. You can be the exception to that rule. You can be an emotionally healthy person, if you set your mind and heart to it.

If you haven't already read it, I suggest that you read the book Adult Children of Alcoholics, by Janet G. Woititz.

Above all, believe in yourself and the goodness that is who you are. You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.