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Tired Of Being Afraid

by Jennifer
(E. Stroudsburg, PA)

My boyfriend has an awful temper. Any time he has a problem with the people he works with, one of his trucks, cars, etc. he yells at me.

He does things to hurt me (not physically, yet.). Last year, he shot 4 cats that I care for outside, because they went into the garage and knocked a tool down. He has threatened to throw me out of his home for minor things. For instance, my daughter's room was not clean enough so he threw all of our clothes outside. He took my exercise bike and threw it over the deck--I could go on.

There have been so many instances in the past 10 years. I have noticed lately he has been doing weird things like whispering things to himself, kind of like practicing what he will say to an individual. He also has a weird habit of lining things up perfectly, for example silverware on the table, glasses, cans or anything that is sitting around. It's kind of like "Sleeping with the Enemy" -- very scary.

He hates everyone, sadly, based on their color. I mean, the racial slurs are terrible. I am friendly to everyone. His use of the "N" word is disgraceful. While venting about work he used the "F" word 49 times in a conversation that lasted a few minutes.

God, when I write all this down it makes me realize how horrible a person he has become. He was not always like this. I'm getting scared, he has guns in the house he uses for hunting. When he shot those poor little cats, I should have called the police. They would have taken the guns and him away. I was too afraid.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Jennifer, and thanks for telling your story here. You said you're tired of being afraid--that's good. It's time for you to take action.

When he's going to be away for a while, pack up your things and get to a battered women's shelter as soon as you can. You can't afford to let your fear hold you prisoner to this situation any longer. Read this info, which will help you think through your options clearly.

You must protect your daughter and your self, and it is clear that you are not safe with this man. Anyone who would kill innocent animals like that is very close to being able to do it to human beings. You can't help this man--only he can do that.

Believe in yourself, and your child. Act now. You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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Jun 13, 2013
You deserve better
by: Charlie

Hello Jennifer. I can so relate to your experience. I was once involved with a man who had extreme anger issues, was emotionally and verbally abusive, and also a compulsive liar. He was stressed out a lot of the time, and would take his frustration out on me. He had a habit of yelling at me over the telephone and calling me names. This went on for about ten and a half months until one day, I finally reached my breaking point and left. Although it was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, it was also the best. His temper scared me. I am very sorry that he did those horrible things to you. He sounds like a very disturbed individual. If I were you, I would pack a suitcase, grab my daughter, and leave. It doesn't sound like he's ever going to change, so you should get out of there as soon as you can, like tomorrow! He will probably kill you if you don't. You deserve so much better than this guy.

Please do yourself a massive favor this summer and move out of that house while he's at work.

You deserve to feel loved, valued and safe.

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