Tired Of Being Afraid
(E. Stroudsburg, PA)
My boyfriend has an awful temper. Any time he has a problem with the people he works with, one of his trucks, cars, etc. he yells at me.
He does things to hurt me (not physically, yet.). Last year, he shot 4 cats that I care for outside, because they went into the garage and knocked a tool down. He has threatened to throw me out of his home for minor things. For instance, my daughter's room was not clean enough so he threw all of our clothes outside. He took my exercise bike and threw it over the deck--I could go on.
There have been so many instances in the past 10 years. I have noticed lately he has been doing weird things like whispering things to himself, kind of like practicing what he will say to an individual. He also has a weird habit of lining things up perfectly, for example silverware on the table, glasses, cans or anything that is sitting around. It's kind of like "Sleeping with the Enemy" -- very scary.
He hates everyone, sadly, based on their color. I mean, the racial slurs are terrible. I am friendly to everyone. His use of the "N" word is disgraceful. While venting about work he used the "F" word 49 times in a conversation that lasted a few minutes.
God, when I write all this down it makes me realize how horrible a person he has become. He was not always like this. I'm getting scared, he has guns in the house he uses for hunting. When he shot those poor little cats, I should have called the police. They would have taken the guns and him away. I was too afraid.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Jennifer, and thanks for telling your story here. You said you're tired of being afraid--that's good. It's time for you to take action.
When he's going to be away for a while, pack up your things and get to a battered women's shelter as soon as you can. You can't afford to let your fear hold you prisoner to this situation any longer. Read this info, which will help you think through your options clearly.
You must protect your daughter and your self, and it is clear that you are not safe with this man. Anyone who would kill innocent animals like that is very close to being able to do it to human beings. You can't help this man--only he can do that.
Believe in yourself, and your child. Act now. You can do this.
My very best to you,
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