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Time To Deal With The Monster Within

by Bruce
(Port Saint Lucie, FL, USA.)

Hello, & thank you for this site. I hope it will help me.

I'm coming up fast on the age of 50, and can't remember ever not having a zero – mach7 anger issue. I've been married to my junior high sweet heart now for 17 yrs, and it's way past time I do something about this "monster" within.

My issue with anger has left us in financial ruin for far too long. I'm almost unemployable due to my explosive behavior(s). I can't afford to get the help I so desperately have needed for so long because I can't stay at any job for more than a year, or two max.

I have done the foot work of self-examination, and research into trying to find out what my issues are, and for me the root of all my social/emotional retardation repeatedly leads me straight to anger and rage.

I know I'm running out of time on fixing our struggling relationship. For me this is the last house on the block. I believe the next door I knock on will be heaven’s, and no one will be there to answer it.

I'm really just a good guy, with bad behavior issues. If someone will throw me a rope, I will be glad to pull myself out of this mire of self-bondage.

Thank you for your time.

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Apr 12, 2019
Time For A New Identity For You
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Bruce

Thanks for sharing your story here. I will offer you some help, and the rest is up to you.

You don't realize it (or maybe you do...), but you have formed an entire identity around your anger. You referred to yourself as "a.k.a. Brucifer," for example. (I suggest you change your email address and never refer to yourself that way again). I will try to help you do two things: 1) Heal your underlying emotional toxicity, and 2) begin to establish a new identity going forward.

The new identity is not foreign to you, and you don't have to become someone else. You just have to take the actions to become that "good guy" you refer to as who you really are.

All of the tools you need are right here in this article. Follow each step, as recommended, for at least one year. I know that sounds like a long time, but believe me, you have spent your entire lifetime building up your current emotional and behavior patterns, and you will not turn that train around without a lot of focused work on yourself over a substantial period of time.

I've been counseling with people with these types of issues for 48 years, and this approach, outlined in that article, is what works for the long haul.

Of course it would be helpful if you could get professional help, but you made it clear that you can't afford it.

When you shift your identity away from your angry self toward your decent, respectful and compassionate inner self, you will feel like you're giving up a lot of power. On a subconscious level, you believe that your anger has given you power and control, and while it has in some ways, it has also taken away your power and control, and left you at this point in your life where you feel you're out of options.

I don't know why, Bruce, but for some reason I choose to believe in you, and your ability to successfully heal your anger and form a new healthy identity.

One more thing...are you strong enough to protect your loved ones from your anger? That's your job from now on. You deal with it, using these tools, and do not require that anyone else deal with it.

Dive in and go for it, and don't let up.

And believe in the goodness inside you.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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