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Certain people make me very agitated. I don't get physical, but my insides feel like I'm going to boil over. A very ugly feeling comes over me and I get agitated and angry with a bit of rage - only with some people, though, not everyone.
Something they said will spark this feeling. They may be kidding, but I don't take it as kidding and get very mad, my face feels hot. The people who know how I feel tell me to take a Valium or a Xanax. Some people have even told me to "leave Cybil home" if you're coming over! Could this be a personality disorder?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Thanks for writing your story on this site. You definitely are a good person, and that's why you're trying to figure out your problem and get better. I can't diagnose you, of course, without actually seeing you in my office for a professional evaluation.
You need to explore the "story" behind those things and people that push your buttons. You have reasons for what you feel, and you need to know what they are. Write your life story. Focus on the events that have the strongest emotions connected with them. It has been found that simply writing about your past experiences can provide significant healing. Many people have used this site for that type of writing and healing.
This is a way for you to take full responsibility for your emotions and your healing. It is good that you are not venting your anger on others any more than you are. You definitely don't want to go any further in that direction.
Read the other stories on this site, and some of the web pages designed to help you. You will also find books and CDs that might be helpful to you.
My best to you,
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