Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING
by A Mother
Your site and blog on anger management has definitely helped me at least figure out my anger issues and work on them. I still have my anger outbursts but I am preparing myself every day to tone the effects down further. I have a very good family, a loving husband who travels a lot and I raise my 2 kids.
As I mentioned in your blog earlier, my 2 year daughter is the one who pushes my buttons. I have had similar anger issues with my son when he was 2 or 3 but the one thing that has warded off my anger from him is the ability to communicate. My daughter is developmentally delayed - she cannot walk, and is still struggling to talk and cope with the use of her hands which are weak too. Her behavior is as typical as a 2 year old but when I deal with her frustrations, her crying bouts and battles over mealtimes and bedtimes, sometimes my anger gives in. There have been times when my anger goes to a Level 9 (on your Anger Management Assessment scale) almost - but I try to go away and start writing vigorously about my negative thoughts.
I also write the name of God and chant his name, and say "Om". I may control my anger from hurting my daughter but deep inside the anger and frustration still exists and once in a while takes surge. Many times the anger converts into a good cry. My life is hard.
One thing I have realized is I need time to contemplate, meditate, ponder and write. We need time to ourselves. Many moms don't have that luxury. We all love peace and quiet. We are all happy when our children are happy, well-fed, well-rested and playing and doing things in a happy manner. That state of equilibrium is only temporary and the reality is that kids will be kids - but when they repeatedly push us "emotionally weaker" individuals, we lose our control.
I will be ordering your anger management ebooks - if there is any quiet and quick way to read your techniques, please do recommend them. I also have started reading some self-discovery books like "Self-unfoldment" which I hope will help me see the light better. I chant and sing whenever I can. Music is amazing and very therapeutic. Soft religious songs really calm the mind. I want to start praying more but the best I can do right now is some mental prayers when I get a moment. Last but not the least, I think a good stretch after some exercise really gives me a feeling of relief and improves my self-image and just overall prepares me better for the impending struggles.
The other thing I tell myself is to not expect kids to be perfect or major achievers. To other parents too, don't judge your child or another's or compare 2 children or indulge in excessive braggadocio. Belittling our child is bad but bragging excessively about them is also bad.
I will continue to write more whenever I get a chance.
A mother who means well but loses the moments.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Thanks for writing about your progress. I'm so glad that you are getting some help and relief. You are so right about the power of prayer, music, meditation and quiet time for calming yourself and managing your anger.
You asked about the anger management techniques. You will find them on this page, and then much more expanded and complete information will be included in your Ebook when you sign up for the newsletter.
I wish you all the best in your continued growth,
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