I have been dealing with my anger for years now. I am 23 years old and I have a terrible attitude. They say admitting is the first step, so that step is taken and I really need the next.
I don't know how to control myself when it gets to a certain point and I do things without thinking. I don't even remembering some of the things that happen.
My boyfriend has cheated on me a lot in the past and I forgave him. Well at least I stayed with him. Due to the past experiences I do not trust the things he says sometimes. I have a way of trying to degrade him and make him feel the hurt I feel when he does things that I feel are stupid.
I am trying to work on my anger, so I feel I am now a pushover. I don't say anything about a lot of things that bother me because I know how far I can go without even trying. Is that fair to me?
It's like once my anger get's to a certain point I don't even have control over myself anymore. I don't know if it's me alone or could this situation be playing a major part too?
Thanks in advance.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. Your situation is certainly challenging, with the cheating that has gone on. However, to answer your question, you are totally responsible for your anger and your actions, as your boyfriend is totally responsible for his emotions and actions. With that in mind, I will give you some pointers about healing and managing your anger.
Do the three journaling processes described on this page. Use these imagery processes for emotional healing to resolve old issues, and practice anger management techniques on a daily basis until they become habit.
You are a good person, and that's why you don't like your anger the way it is currently coming out.
Believe in yourself, and do these exercises, and you will benefit.
My very best to you,
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