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Signs Of Infidelity
And What To Do About Them

Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.

Signs of infidelity can drive you crazy, if you let them. Don't let them. 

With these guidelines, you're going to learn how to keep your head on straight, as you deal with this extremely difficult challenge.

signs of infidelity

Something's not right in your marriage or relationship, or you wouldn't be here reading this web page. You have suspicions, and you want to know what's really going on.

You may be checking receipts, monitoring text, email and phone logs, or none of the above. You might have hard evidence or just a sneaking suspicion.

Either way, you want satisfaction, and now you're going to figure out how to get your satisfaction without making your situation any worse than it already is.

What Are The Signs Of Infidelity?

You already know a lot of these, but let's go through the list, just to make sure. I know you're feeling worried, anxious, and maybe jealous and angry right now. That's normal, and I'm going to help you with that also.

Most people know on a gut level when their partner is cheating, but this is certainly not an exact science.

Okay, let's look at the main signs of infidelity:

  • Any signs in your partner of secrecy, hiding and concealing information from you. While everybody's entitled to their privacy, you can tell when it's more than usual.
  • Your partner is spending more time than usual at work, out with friends, or with a particular person...who might be "the other person."
  • You have a growing feeling that they're lying to you. Even if you can't put your finger on why, the feeling is getting stronger.
  • You find direct evidence in the form of emails, notes or letters, receipts, or phone logs.
signs of infidelity
  • Your partner seems either more interesting in sex than usual, or less than usual...and it's a pretty big change.

Whether you're seeing all of these signs of infidelity, or just a few or you just have a gut feeling something's wrong, you need to keep reading.

You want to make sure you're not making your problem bigger. Suspicion and the "green-eyed monster" of jealousy can eat you up inside, and no matter what your partner is up to, you don't want to do that to yourself. 

What Do You Do About Signs Of Infidelity?

The key here is to not let your thoughts and emotions run away with you. That will only lead to heartache and regret.

Jealousy and suspicion can be just as damaging as infidelity. I know it feels like you're an innocent helpless victim to what your partner is doing, but you don't have to be a helpless victim to your own thoughts and feelings.

Here are some steps you can take to keep your head on straight while you go through this:

  • If you don't have a lot of evidence, and you think your partner might actually be faithful, then I suggest that you try listening to the audiobook Expectations In Marriage together. If your partner is not willing to do this, then your suspicions unfortunately will continue to grow.
  • If the evidence is big and growing, it might be time to go ahead and confront your partner. I suggest you use words like, "I'm having a real hard time right now. I'm seeing all of these things that make me think you are being unfaithful. It's really bothering me, and if there's anything you can tell me that will either confirm my suspicions or put my mind at ease, I'd really appreciate it."
signs of infidelity
  • Your anger might be growing as you go through this. While that is certainly normal at times like these, you don't want to lose anger management control, since that will only make things worse, and it could shift the focus to your problems instead of the signs of infidelity.
  • Of course, you can get sneaky and go through your partner's private data, or even hire a private investigator. While you have every right to do these things if you choose, just remember you will have to live with yourself afterward, and you want to feel good about yourself when this is all over.
  • Don't let your suspicious mind run amok and take over your thoughts, emotions and actions. This can actually take you into the territory of paranoia, and you definitely don't want to go there. You will find that these journaling processes will help you to manage your feelings and thoughts during these and other difficult times.

Take Good Care Of Yourself

You need to take very good care of yourself when you're seeing signs of infidelity, and feeling suspicious and jealous.

Make up your mind that you're a good person, and that if your partner is smart, they'll figure that out and act right--or they won't, which means they don't deserve you.

As bad as this situation may be, you can't afford to get tunnel vision and let your reptilian brain take over. Make up your mind to remember the good things in you and your life, and this will keep you more calm and balanced.

This is not what you expected! When you got married or got involved with your partner, you didn't expect to be seeing signs of infidelity, and feeling so upset about it.

Take a look at this Expectations In Marriage program, listen to free previews, and get your copy now!

expectations in marriage

Healthy Ways to Deal With Disappointment and Anger in Loving Relationships 

Everyone enters marriage with great expectations. All too often, you may end up disappointed or angry about how things turn out. This audiobook will help you understand your expectations and develop skills for moving beyond your disappointment and become a loving partner to your spouse.

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