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Please Help...I Hit My Husband

by Anonymous

It is so horrible to look at myself and realize I have become an abuser, especially of somebody I love.

I am 30 years old, have 3 kids, 4 step kids (3 live with us), and my youngest is a 6 months old baby girl. I have been married for 2 and a half years.

I am from Central America and my husband is Norwegian. Currently we live in Norway. Our marriage is really full of stress and problems. My husband is often away on business trips and I am alone with the kids most of the time. Our problems go from disagreements with the kids to our unattended relationship, so it has been a lot of drama.

I have told my husband that I want to separate, because I am really not happy, but I secretly hold a hope that he will try to be there for me more or just change some of the things that make us go into conflicts.

What is happening now is that I feel full of resentment and sadness, I cry myself to sleep almost every night, while he sleeps.
Whenever we argue or fight I get very mad and really feel I can't control it. I have slapped his face really hard at least in 3 occasions in the last 3 months.

I KNOW I AM WRONG. I KNOW. Please help me. I have nobody to talk to and I feel really lonely and unsupported.

Thank you so much in advance.

I really want to put a stop to it, but I feel I can't do it alone.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It is clear that you are under a lot of stress, and the responsibilities that you carry are tremendous. With your husband away most of the time, I'm sure it can feel overwhelming to you.

Obviously, hitting your husband is only making matters worse. I will try to help.

I suggest that you start by doing all of the exercises on this FAQ page. You will find those to be very helpful, if you use them regularly for at least a month.

I also encourage you to focus on creating happiness for yourself. The positive journaling processes will help you with that. Take some time for relaxation, pleasure reading, or visiting with a friend when you can.

You can create happiness for yourself. Believe in yourself and the goodness inside you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.

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Feb 21, 2016
You Need To Leave
by: Anonymous

You have to leave him. It doesn't matter that you have kids. Better for them not to see you hitting each other. Eventually he will hit back, and then you might be killed. I know it hurts. I know you are scared. But look at it this way. It's going to happen again. You will hate yourself more each time it happens. So you need to leave, because he won't.

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