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Parents Can't Keep A Job

by Anonymous

My Dad is a minister. He lost a job when I was 10. My parents had to claim bankruptcy and we moved 150 miles away. We used to live in the city, and now we live in a small town.

Then my mom was accused of stealing at her job, and my dad lost another church. We lived in a trailer for a while and now we have a house. Mom was fired from a second job that she had, and she had to live 100 miles away when she worked there.

Now I'm 15, Dad does odd jobs and Mom doesn't work. By the way, at the first job it went to court and my mom was found not guilty.

I am so full of anger sometimes I just want to choke someone.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hi, and thanks for telling your story on this site. That kind of unstable background can be very disturbing to a child trying to grow up. Your anger makes perfect sense, and you have good reasons for feeling the way you do--but of course, what you do with your anger is very important.

I suggest you start by reading this page, which is designed for teenagers who want to deal with their anger in healthy ways.

I also suggest that you do the journaling processes you'll find on this page to get your anger out where you can manage it better. Journaling will also help you to sort out your feelings about the trauma you've been through. You will find on that page a recommendation that you focus on the good things in your life. I think that would be especially helpful for you.

It's clear that your parents have not done a good job of holding jobs and providing a stable environment for you. I'd be willing to bet, however, that they have some good qualities. It will help you a lot to focus on what you appreciate about your parents.

I don't know how old you are, but I'm sure you're moving toward independence. Start focusing on the kind of life you want to create for yourself, while shifting your focus off your parents. You have your whole life ahead of you, and what you do with it is entirely up to you.

Believe in yourself. You're a good and responsible person, which is why your parents' problems bothered you so much. Focus on that, and be the good and responsible and productive person you choose to be.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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