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Out To Get Me

by Anonymous

I constantly feel that everyone is really out to get me, not necessarily in the attacking manner, but in a sense where they don't want to see me content. My mind always runs tricks on me, making me think that a person's actions aren't legitimate and it's a front. I feel as if they are doing something behind my back all the time.

Though I know that this isn't true I can't shake the feeling. I recently realized that I always think people should be in sync with me and automatically realize what I'm trying to do. But I know it doesn't work that way, and at times that would make me get frustrated. I tend to get angry at myself for feeling that way and not having a clear answer to why I constantly do this over and over.

I will lash out or get frustrated towards others for no reason at times and an argument will erupt and then later on I realize that the argument was for no reason. At that point its too late and I just want to stop it before it goes too far, and try to diffuse the situation. There are days that I feel completely fine then all of a sudden I get frustrated. I also tend to feel that when people say certain things to me, there's an underlying message in their words, that too will tend to frustrate me.

What exactly can I do to permanently subdue these feelings?

I don't want to hurt or become easily frustrated at daily things. I also don't want to be frustrated with other people and lash out at them, when they are truly there for me and have no intentions of hurting me emotionally or doing me harm. I don't want to keep thinking people are "out to get me."

Thank You

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thank you for your contribution. You show several areas of strength and clarity in your writing.
1. You reached out for help on this site, which is a good sign that you want to be healthy
2. You realize that your thoughts of others being "out to get you" are not valid, and you want to be free of them
3. You are able to acknowledge that other people might actually have good intentions--that is excellent!
4. You know that some of your feelings and reactions don't make sense, and that knowledge comes from the healthy, intelligent part of you. Be grateful that you can see your problem--the part of you that is looking doesn't have the problem!

Here is what I recommend:

1. Journal from your anger and frustration every day. Write until you can see that the thought processes don't make sense, and you will probably feel some relief at that point.
2. After your anger journaling, write about what you're grateful for and shift your focus to what is right, good and working in your life.
3. Write in great detail about any traumatic experiences you have had in your life. Your unconscious feelings that "someone is out to get you" most likely come from actual memories. You can submit your writing to this site, if you like. Others are doing that, and getting benefit from the writing process.
4. Take good care of yourself physically. Eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly.
5. Avoid using alcohol or drugs. You really can't afford to use mind-altering substances with the kind of thought processes you have going on.

Congratulations for taking this action to help yourself! Try to remember that you are a good, healthy, smart person who wants to be well and do the right thing.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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