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One Thing After Another

by Anonymous

It seems like everything goes wrong at once. I know that I am not alone, but what the hell. First I worked very hard at my job doing everything asked of me and when one thing went wrong, something I had no control over, I was let go.

Then my wife whom I do love lives in a fairy world. To her, nothing is wrong and nothing matters. She goes where she wants when she wants and tells no one. She does it because she can, and she knows where she is going.

Now today she gets in an accident and hits a fence on a road that she has no business being on because it is snow covered and not plowed. $2,500 later and I am angry. I bought her the car so she would something nice to use in her business and she fills it with garbage, keeps it dirty, and does not care. The house is full of dirt and clutter all the time and I am not allowed to touch it.

It's also been five months and I still do not have a job. The renters have decided not to bother paying anymore because the world owes them something. My wife has been gone now for hours and again I have no idea where. She will come back and say nothing or think nothing about it, I worry. This makes me upset knowing that there is nothing I can do should anything happen, again she does not think that way. I hate to say "what next?"

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. Have you ever heard the statement, "What you pay attention to grows"? Well, it's really true. That's why, in your words, "it seems like everything goes wrong at once." The good news is, when you start focusing on what is good, right, and working in your life, things will start going right.

Here is how it works:

1) Decide to change your basic belief about life from "bad things happen" to "good things happen." Both are true, but you will attract and create what you focus on.

2) Begin right now looking for evidence to support your belief that good things happen. Use the journaling exercise on this page to help you get your mind working in that direction. Apply the positive thinking to your job situation and your marriage, and look forward to good results as if you knew for sure they were coming.

3) Start small...are you breathing? Do you have food to eat? Can you walk? Do you have people in your life that care about you? Are there any possibilities of jobs out there for you? Have you been through harder times and made it?

4) Keep thinking in a positive direction, and be fierce about it. The negative, victim-based thinking will try hard to pull you back in. If it works too hard on you and you can't stay positive, use the journaling exercise on this page to get the anger out. By the way, most anger thoughts are "victim" thoughts!

Make up your mind that you're going to get a good job and learn to be a loving, appreciative husband.

You can do this!

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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