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Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING

Old Man

by Ella

I work for a home health agency, and my job is to sit with this man. He has some money, so he has a lot of help.

One of the helpers, who by the way doesn't work for my agency, acts really mean and hateful to everyone, including the old man. I finally had enough of it today when the other helper started yelling at me for doing something trivial.

So I called the man's son and told him everything that had been going on. I was so angry. Not just for me, but for the old man. I told his son one thing that really wasn't true but it wasn't far from the truth. I stretched the truth out a little. In my mind I had to do anything to hurt the other helper.

Now I feel a little guilty. I am worried about how it will all turn out. I hate conflict and drama but when I get really angry I lash out. I ignored the other helper's actions for way too long, and today I exploded.

I am still hoping the other helper gets fired--if not for my benefit then for the old man's benefit.

I called my agency today after this happened, and told then that I wasn't going to go there anymore. I am still worried that it will all come back on me.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Ella, and thanks for telling your story here. Your feelings make perfect sense. It is very hard seeing someone act the way that other worker was acting. You were right to tell the man's son.

It it natural to want justice in this type of situation. That is what you were seeking when you told the man's son, and you were right to do so. You were standing up for the old man, and that is a good thing.

I understand that you're worried because you said some things that weren't entirely true. If it would make you feel better, you might think of calling the man's son and telling him you stretched the truth a bit. That would probably help you put your mind at ease.

I think there is something else going on with you here, Ella. When you say, "I am still worried that it will all come back on me" it sounds like you're too hard on yourself.

It might be helpful to you to do the writing exercises on this page, and revisit some of your past experiences in which you were hurt or blamed for something. Just writing about these things can really help.

If you have any significant trauma that comes up when you do this, use these imagery processes for emotional healing to address that.

You're a good person, Ella, and that's why this situation bothered you. Focus on your good heart, and do the positive journaling exercises (on the above linked journaling page) and write about what is good, right and working in you and your life.

Trust yourself--you have good reason to.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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Aug 30, 2010
by: Anonymous

great site

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