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Before I was born, my dad decided he didn't want to be a part of my life. He told Mom, "I'm not ready to be a dad." So he went back to his ex, who he already had 2 kids with, and had another one.
When I was 6, I slept in my own room. A guy who was staying with us crept into my room and sexually molested me. I knew who the guy was back then, so when he stayed over again I thought sleeping with my mom would protect me. He again crept into the room and sexually molested me.
When I was 10, my male cousin sexually molested me on and off for a year. I told my mom, and she brought me to a counselor who then brought me to a police officer. I decided to lie and not tell the police officer the whole story. My offender was then presumed innocent. A couple of months after that, my mom's boyfriend of 9 months went to another city to record a CD, but he didn't get the deal. He lied and told my mom he did receive the deal.
He actually stayed there for another month with another woman. He kept calling saying he didn't know when he would be home, but he would be home as soon as he could. My mom called one day, and his room mate said he was out with his girlfriend. My mom cried for months, and I cried with her.
I still have a great anger at all of these men, and now I take it out on my boyfriends. Men as a species have hurt me. I am seeing a psychologist to deal with all of these traumatic events. I hope people learn from my story, to tell someone if they are being abused in any way.
Psychological and emotional abuse are very traumatic as small as it may seem at the time, and you don't deserve it as a human being. You deserve to be loved, and be happy.
I am with a man who is showing me the better side of men, and I am slowly learning to forgive my offenders, not for them, but for myself. What they did was wrong, but my anger is poisoning my life, and everyday I learn to forgive, I feel better as a person.
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