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Married for 28 yrs, but every week of the 28 yrs there has been an argument for all the stupid reasons. She cannot talk softly, she only screams and shout/yells. She says that's the only way she can get her message across to me.
She wants me to answer anybody and everybody in a manner she would have answered (even if she was not present).
If I ask her a simple question where the answer can be yes or no, she writes a chapter on it while answering. She brings all the wrong I have done to her in the past 28 yrs, but yet I can't find the answer.
She told me a few months ago that her father use to beat her and her mom when she was young. Her father was an alcoholic. She abuses her father now (he passed away 30yrs ago), and tells her mom that you should have left her dad.
In the last argument we had, she accused me of sleeping with other men and women, to which I slapped her. She said she doesn't want the marriage any more, and now she denies accusing me of sleeping around.
She talks nonsense and accuses me of any and everything and and when I confront her the next day she twists her answer and says I never said it and makes me a liar.
So I have moved out of my house giving her everything without a fight. I have very little savings to survive on. In spite of that, she wants more, her demands are unreasonable which I can't afford.
I call her "angry child." Is this one of the reasons she behaves like this with me--from her bad childhood?
Does she need to attend some "Anger Management" classes?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Micky, and thanks for telling your story here. I know this can be very difficult, what you're going through. From what you've written here, it sounds like your marriage is coming to an end, and I know that's hard.
If your wife is to get some help with her anger, it will have to be her idea. I suggest you focus on yourself and what you need to do to be healthy and happy. It sounds like the two of you are getting a divorce, so it may be time for you to begin grieving and letting go.
I suggest you review the following page, and see if they are helpful to you:
If you or your wife wants anger management classes, you might want to sign up for one of these online anger management classes. I think you will find them very helpful. I believe strongly in these classes, and support their company as an affiliate.
Focus on and believe in yourself, Micky. Love is letting go, so whether your wife are together or not, it's time to let go and love her as she is, if you can.
My very best to you,
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