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My Road Rage Scares Me And I'm Sick Of It

by Ivan
(California)

I am usually a very calm and courteous driver. I always signal, yield the right of way, and stick to the slower lane(s) except when passing. However, there have been some incidents where I've totally lost it and forgot that a hostile and/or war zone is the last thing a road should become.

I know it's extremely dangerous for me and for others to fall into such behaviors, yet I sometimes can't control myself. I want to write down and talk about my most recent incident, which raised the final red flag, I hope. It's extremely stressful and I want to get rid of this nasty habit.

I was driving down the freeway back home on my daily commute. Traffic had been a bit heavy, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I was on the second lane from right to left, going with the flow of traffic. Everything was fine when I noticed an impatient van with its high beams on tailgating me. Usually, I would have tried to speed up or move out of the way if possible, but I was very stressed that day, and highly annoyed by that van's behavior.

I mildly pressed the brake pedal, to let him know I was beginning to slow down and as a way of asking him to pass me. He moved to the right lane and swerved against me. I blew my horn and tried one last time to let it go, but it was too late. My stupid road rage was fully ignited.

As he drove away, I sped up while honking multiple times at him. Soon enough, I reached my exit. I left the freeway and drove the remaining way home, but the damage was done. I was overwhelmed by my rage and stress, only to let it out on my family upon my arrival. Nothing happened, but what if the van driver had actually lost it too and stopped to confront me? I could end up severely injured, I could go to jail, or I could even die if the other driver pulls a gun on me.

Road rage is so senseless and dangerous. I am desperate to get rid of it and learn to control my anger. I don't want to later regret the consequences of not thinking during an instant like in this story. I believe I am a good driver and thankfully, have not been involved in any accidents. Yet, this is not the first time my judgment has been totally clouded by anger against another driver.

I am scared about the possible consequences an incident like this one might have. I want this one to be the last one. For my safety, my family's, and the safety of all the fellow drivers I share the road with every day.


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Nov 10, 2016
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You Are Right On Track
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Ivan. Thanks for your thoughtful, well written story. I respect your self awareness and determination to change.

Use the tools you find on this site, and I assure you that if you are persistent, you will heal your anger responses and create a safe driving experience for yourself and others.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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