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My Mom Wishes I Had Never Been Born

by Anonymous

Light Emerges From Darkness

Light Emerges From Darkness

I am from an extremely overprotective family.

My mom told me before to never to talk to any boy and she shouted at me before several times before because of talking about a boy with one of my friends. She said you can't say the name of any boy, so all of my family--my dad and older brother said the same thing. I am in a mixed school ( boys and girls) and they told me never to talk to any boy, just girls. It's forbidden.

Then, one day a boy came from school and told me that he likes me and took my number. We started chatting. Then after two days, I told my girlfriend I want to end this relationship, because I was terrified of my parents knowing about it.

The next day my mother found out, and started shouting at me and my brother too. She told me if my father knew about it he would kill me!

Now, she doesn't want me to go to school again. I had an exam, a very important one, and she didn't allow me to go. She took my phone and I can't even talk to anyone.

She doesn't want to forgive me and also she doesn't want me to go to school again. She told me "I lost trust in you," and she also said that she will never ever trust me again.

So, I can't go to school now, and I really have to or I will fail in all of the subjects. I don't know what to do, please help me!

I want her to forgive and trust me again but I don't know how she doesn't even want me to get out of the house.

She told me "I wish you were dead and I wish you had never been born." She also said "I wish I was dead before I would see something like this from you."

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Nov 26, 2014
You Will Find A Way
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thank you for sharing your touching story here. I know this must be extremely painful and difficult for you.

It is apparent to me that, as you say, your family is extremely overprotective. While your desire to communicate with boys is completely normal and healthy, your parents and your mother in particular have extreme emotions on this subject.

I will recommend some things for you, and I hope it helps.

1) Create a bright, hopeful place in your heart, and tell yourself silently in that place, "I will be free. I will be true to myself and my heart, when the time is right. I will be able to express who I truly am, and develop relationships as I choose." Nurture this bright place of hope and truth, and do not talk to your family about it, as it would only upset them and make your situation worse.

2) Do your best to adapt to the requirements that your family places on you, to avoid being hurt any worse than you already have been. I say this because from what you have written here, it sounds like you are a minor, and do not have adult rights or any opportunity to be independent.

The things that your mother has said to you are so very hurtful to you, and they reflect the incredible turmoil that she is in. A mother has to be deeply disturbed in her own heart to say such things to her daughter. That does not excuse what she is doing to you, but it helps to explain it.

You have to protect yourself from this "overprotection," which is actually extremely oppressive to you and your development. That's why I am recommending that you comfort and reassure yourself silently, while complying with the requirements of your parents until you can be on your own.

Read stories of other women who, like you, grew up in oppressive environments and rose above to realize their dreams of freedom. There are many, throughout history.

Believe in yourself, your good heart and your desire for freedom. Make up your mind that you are going to use these experiences to become smarter and stronger, and you will.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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