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My Man Is Getting Married To Someone Else

by MC
(Malaysia)



I was in a relationship for about two years since and there were a lot of ups and downs. From the beginning I knew that he was obliged to marry someone else but a part of me was being a fool like any other person who fell in love.

I thought that maybe there was a part of him that will actually do something like calling off the wedding but no, nothing happened. Now, we are together. basically living daily life like a married couple while he's preparing for his wedding in November or probably December.


Stupid of me, I know! I just couldn't retreat. Getting pissed in front of him, swearing and screaming didn't give any effect towards him. It was like nothing happened. A part of me wanted revenge. For him to feel a little bit pain of what I'm dealing with because of his actions.

He just wanted to put me in a box, keep it under his bed and live a happier life with his new wife. So what does that make me? I just want some recognition. I want to be known. I do not want to be his secret that he kept in the dark until the day he died.

I want his soon to be bride to know who I am and what he was doing behind her back for all these years. They have been together for like five years but he was not into her as much as she is into him.

So we had an argument about how it is not fair for me to be the only one getting hurt when he and his soon to be bride are going to live a happy life without me, 'his well hidden secret.' The problem is, this 'secret' of his has feelings and I can't stop thinking about revenge.

It's something I'm up against, but I am feeling bad with anger and disappointment all over me and I don't know what to do. It hurts. I want him to take responsibility but he's not willing to do so. He kept on saying that his family will be ruined.

Then how about me? Why am I the sacrifice? Why I am the one feeling hurt when he and everyone else is going to be happy? I don't want to hurt his family or anyone else. I just want him to feel my pain and stop being so ignorant.

But then the good in me arises, telling me to leave everything to karma. But I am in pain right now. I'm mad I'm furious yet I can't do anything about all this.

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Nov 06, 2014
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You Are The Person You Need
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. What you're feeling is totally understandable. You are indeed being abused, discounted, and disregarded. Nobody likes that. But you're wise not to give in to the desire for revenge.

You have made choices that led you to this situation, and therefore you're responsible for what's happening in your life. You're not responsible for your man friend's behavior, but you're responsible for continually exposing yourself to this type of treatment.

This man is not worthy of your love. Act on your dignity and self respect, and leave him and never go back. You deserve to be loved and respected, and I suggest you do not accept anything less than that.

Only you can fix this. I think you are smart enough and strong enough to do that.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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