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My Brother Physically And Emotionally Abuses My Family

by Anonymous

I live in a family of six with my three siblings and parents. For many years now my older brother has hit, punched, kicked and choked me and my other two siblings. This has resulting in us having busted lips, bruises and recently almost knocked out my sister.

My mum also gets it a lot, although not physically. He has threatened to hurt her, but it's mostly the things he says to her.

This has been going on for years now and nothing has ever been done. Me and my other two siblings went to talk to our parents about it and we told them how we feel. That we're scared and terrified to come downstairs when he’s there.

All they say is, "He has to want to help himself." I understand that he has a few issues, and that he tends to head-butt walls when he's angry, and my mum is afraid that he might do something much worse to himself. The thing is though, he's hurting his younger siblings and he's 21.

My older sister now suffers from anxiety and depression, from the words and the pain he's put her through. My twin brother a lot of the time barricades his bedroom door, so he won’t hurt him. I've lost countless hours of sleep, worrying about the next time he's going to do something.

I'm autistic and have social anxiety, which doesn't make it any easier. I just can't stand another minute with him controlling us like this, hurting us like this and making us feel as though we have done something wrong, I mean have we?

Both my parents have tried many things to help him, but he won’t take any of the help. He has my parents do everything for him, many times my mum has said no and he kicks off. Even my mum is afraid of him.

I just don't know what to do, none of us know. I'm scared of being at home and I have no one to turn too. What should I do?

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Jan 29, 2018
Your Parents Need To Get Your Brother Out Of The Home
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like your entire family is being held hostage to your brother's anger, which is of course harming everyone.

It is your parents' responsibility to resolve this. Encourage them to read this page on Parenting Adult Children, and particularly other parents' stories at the bottom.

This will help them to understand that they're not alone. Many parents find adult children living at home and becoming tyrants, and those pages will help them to know what to do.

Meanwhile, if you choose to, you can contact your local child protective services agency. Your brother is an adult, and he is physically abusing children.

I hope your parents will read your story, and my response. This is serious, and they need to take action.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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