My Anger & Issues From Past Emotional Trauma
I'm in a loving relationship with my one year girlfriend and little boy. Things have been really hard. My parents split up when I was eighteen. I'm the oldest of four so I had to stay strong for them and haven't really opened up about myself.
I've seen one of my closest friends murdered before my eyes, and injustice was dealt in court. So I still have issues there. My partner & her family don't really get on with me. One of her sisters has never liked me from the start.
I was not with my partner when my son was born . I feel I've missed out on a part of his life. I've hit my partner a couple of times which now I hate about myself.
I find we are both stubborn at times with our issues. She lost a baby at 6 weeks. She's been very ill at times, and I've been dragged into a court case on fraud which I had nothing to do with, so that's got me depressed. Due to this also I could face a prison sentence. I lost my job at Christmas. I recently found out my mum has a drinking problem. My sister dropped out of school, so I've got so much going on and finding it hard to deal with times.
I've wanted to take my own life but I've got a little boy to bring up so I'm feeling very frustrated at times and not knowing what to do. When I feel like that I just want to be the old me were I was always happy and bubbly.
I find it hard to get my point across at times. I would really like some feedback on what steps I should take now.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello A.J., and thanks for telling your story here. You've obviously been through a lot, and have a lot of healing to do. I will try to help.
I suggest that you start a daily routine of journaling, meditation, and prayer (if that works with your beliefs). You can read all about the three part journaling process on this page. If you don't know how to meditate, you can find free instructions online, and I also have a CD program that you can buy and download, that will teach you how to meditate--here is the link to Meditation, Emotion and Healing.
You might also want to get a copy of my CD program on nurturing your inner child.
Having witnessed your friend's murder, you may be dealing with PTSD. This page will help you with that, if it applies to you.
The answer to your questions and the solutions to your problems are within you, A.J., but you have to find them. They will come to you when you're in a quiet, peaceful frame of mind. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you, or if it will work for you, but from what you've written here, this seems to be the best plan for you at this time.
One way or the other, A.J., believe in yourself and the healing and goodness in your heart. You have what it takes to do what you need to do, and you will make it to a better place, if you set your mind to it and hang in there.
My very best to you,
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