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My Anger Is A Gift

by Hector

I have always had a bad temper, but the consequences were never really serious until I started noticing that It was becoming uncontrollable. I believe that anger is a healthy emotion but it depends on how you react to it.

Most of my friends think my anger is funny because of the stories they get to listen to about me losing it on some arrogant jerk or a boss that needed to be told off. Some of my friends have even confided to me that they wish
they had the balls to say what I had said.

Growing up our problems were never solved by a calm and rational conversation. There were always raging arguments until someone went too far and then the crying would begin, with more words to be resented. Then there would be a separation from each other until we calmed down.

I know the first step is to recognize the anger, but what I'm having the trouble with is getting clarity at the climax of the anger right before it's about to burst. I comprehend that one is to breath or count to ten or stop to realize what is the right reaction to take, but for some reason my mind just doesn't allow me to get to that moment to pause and try any of these techniques.

There are certain times after an outburst that I will collect myself, but then I will start feeling the rush of anger come over me again. It makes me feel weak. I want to be in control of my emotions and not be embarrassed about not being able to keep my cool. So my question is how do I make my mind stop to think or try an anger management strategy before I freak out?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Hector, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm glad you know that anger is a healthy emotion, and the important thing is how you express it. I hear that you want to know how to stay in charge of your emotions so that you can use your anger management techniques.

Your anger is running in a subconscious program, and that's why you are not able to consciously control it. So, I will help you go to the subconscious level where you will have more freedom and control.

I suggest you start by writing about your past experiences, as described on this page. This takes you to the foundation of your subconscious processes, which is your early childhood experience.

Next, use the anger journaling processes on this page. This gives your anger somewhere to go, so it's not trapped inside until you explode. This also will make it more conscious.

Next, use these imagery processes for emotional healing, focusing on any past trauma you may have experienced. This is deep emotional healing, and it gets to the root of your anger.

Use these tools, Hector, and you will get results. They will only work if you use them.

And believe in yourself, and your good heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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