My 20 Year Old Son Is Abusive And I'm Very Worried About Him
(Anderson, CA U.S.A.)
My 20 year old son is an only child. His father and I split up when he was about 3. This after physically abusing me in front of my son one time.
He has gotten everything he has ever wanted from his dad and I usually did what I could to make him happy. Because when something doesn't go his way, like an animal doesn't act the way he wants it to, or if his laptop gets too slow and he can't play his game on it, he just gets out of control angry.
He screams out loud and into a pillow, and yells at me and his very timid girlfriend because his helicopter didn't download to his computer.
He has had many animals that have died from him punishing them. I am terrified about what he may become. He is 20 now, and just got a job with his girlfriend at a fast food place. So I started charging them rent and part of utilities.
Now he has decided he is going to move into his dad's rental sometime within the month or next 90 days. I am worried about the way he talks to and treats me and now his girlfriend.
I don't know what to do. I know it's my fault partly because I felt bad for leaving after his dad beat me up, so I did my best to provide him with all I could. He is a very respectful and we'll mannered young man in public but not at home.
I don't know where to go from here. I have even mentioned to his dad about the animals and he said “What, are you afraid he will become a psycho or something?” I said “Well, yes” and he did not want to continue the conversation.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. But I have a feeling it may be a little too late. I tell his girlfriend if I were her I wouldn't put up with it. She says, “Oh it’s not so bad.”
Her childhood was very unhappy - bad parenting, drugs and neglect. So she knows what it's like to not have things and be hungry or homeless.
If only there was a way to show him how to be humble. I can only hope and pray there is still time for him to turn around.